Tag Archives: transformation

Patiently by JSMN

I’m too numb to feel pain
I’m too grown to play this game
How’d I get here?
You’re too young to fall in love (fall in love)
Too dumb to give up
How’d we get here?

I can see it in your distant eyes
The things you tell yourself is lies
I swear you wanna compromise
But then again what do I know?

You tell me I should take my time
That we should both go live our lives
See I don’t wanna cross no lines
But there’s just one thing you should know

And it’s alright if you are, you can stay (hey)
Take your time ’cause you know that I’ll wait
I’ll wait patiently

Through sunshine and rain
Cigarettes and shame
Somehow I got here
You tell me enough’s enough
Then you’re gone again and hit me up
Tell me what’s going on hereJust drink a little more red wine
Come on baby let’s unwind
We can watch another sunrise
But then again, what do I know?

See I don’t wanna change my mind (change my mind)
And I don’t want to leave you behind (leave you behind)
Never wanna compromise
But there’s just one thing you should know
That it’s alright if you want, I can stay
No, I can stay (yeah)

Take your time ’cause you know that I’ll wait
I’ll wait patiently
I said patiently
Take your time ’cause you know that I’ll wait, yeah
I’ll wait patient


I Once Was Lost…


I have been introduced to another soul that speaks to my heart. Sabrina Claudio’s soulful ballads are uplifting. Her words in “Confidently Lost” resonates deep within me. How can one be confidently lost? I am confidently lost because I am on a road I have never traveled. At times I find myself wandering when I encounter new parts of the journey.

But I am confident about my path and my purpose. I am purposely leaving some things, people, ways, habits, mindsets, and beliefs behind me. As I look back on this year I see ups and downs, lots of emotional pain, more than most could probably bare because I was forced to face some truth. Truth about myself and how lost I have been most of my life. Running around in circles never finding an end.

But I have finally stopped running! I am standing here facing an uncertain future as I walk out this new journey in 2018. It’s a little scary because I am vulnerable. I have finally opened my heart to love. It’s great and I don’t know what to expect. Which is good because I can be surprised at what it will bring into my path. Expectations can ruin things sometimes. So I am open to where the love leads us.

She says in her song “I am confidently lost, I don’t need you to find me, I don’t need you to define me.” For the first time in my adult life I no longer need a man to define me because I know who I am as a woman and his woman. I am a mature woman who feels 15 years younger than she is. I am invigorated by life, all of it, even the shit that hurts. The pain shapes us and forces us to stand tall. Fortitude!  Which is what it should do. But I won’t allow it to cut off my heart from giving and receiving love.

I desire love in all areas of my life. I don’t want to dwell around people who cannot love life, themselves, and others. The negativity is life draining. So as she says in her song-“Thinking about where I am from If I belong there“- speaks to my decision to separate myself from the negativity.

Although my path is unknown, I wouldn’t change it for anything. I am confident that I am not going back to anything I left in 2017. Goodbye heartache, negativity, jealousy, abuse, poverty, homelessness, fake friends, fake family, lies, deceit, selfishness, lack, loneliness, rejection, bondage, barriers, jobs with no purpose, people with no purpose, booty calls, and hiding.

I love you for supporting me over the last few years. This blog has been an evolution and transformation for me. There are bigger things coming from Fedora!!

Fedora Loves You! Peace

Fedora Loves You. Fedora Loves Poetry

Man in the Mask

Everybody gets lost sometimes, gets off the right path and ends up regretting some decisions. But how did I get here, in this place, in this existence, looking at this person. Who is he? Where did he come from? Why don’t I recognize him? He’s wearing a mask. What’s behind his?

Mr. Serious
Always ready to say what’s on his mind
Never satisfied to stay behind

Mr. Mysterious
Casting his shadows on all the he sees
Never allowing them inside

Mr. Cool
Ready for whatever goes down
Always keeping his head up around town

Mr. Looking
For the women to fill his heart
Seeking her touch on all his parts

Daddy, Lover, My Man
This is him
Serious, mysterious
Cool and
Looking for you
Coming into his world to
Make things right

The Vow of Love


I am in a great space right now. Peace has found her way into my heart, she pours out to as many who will receive her. Yes. I am at peace within myself and content. Have you ever taken a vow to love?

Why would we need such a vow? We should love freely but sometimes we want more in return. This can sometimes cause ripples in your peace. But they’re necessary at times. The ripples keep us in reality, in our truth. I love naturally but it has cost me over the years. I learned to be more discerning rather than to cut my heart off.

Being mad all the time takes too much energy. I don’t know any angry people who are happy and peaceful. So I choose to love instead of being angry. Yes love is a choice.

This may sound simple but it’s not. I have a few people close to me who I could rightfully be angry with but I chose not to. That doesn’t mean that I allow them to use me or anything. I just choose to focus my energy on positive emotions and not negative outcomes.

I have taken a vow to love all those God allows me to reach. So that is what I will continue to do Lovers!

More to come….

Fedora Loves you. Peace

Fedora Loves You. Fedora Loves Poetry