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Just Some of My Thoughts…. Return to Love

Return to Love…

Just Some of My Thoughts... Fedora Loves Poetry 2018I have been quiet for a while because Fedora has been on her journey. Her journey of growth and freedom. I have learned much about myself and how loving myself before others helps to maintain your personal freedom. It becomes a part of you that no one can take.

A select few may be able to touch her there but cannot take HER away. To maintain a healthy love relationship, you must include time for self. Giving all of ourselves in any relationship depletes your soul. Self is your soul, your inner man, your third eye. If you deplete it, you begin to die. Love begins within self. A healthy love for self will allow you to love another in a healthy way.

Infinite Love Intertwines the Souls by FedoraI have returned to love after working on self. I am loving HIM again. It has brought out some wounds. I know that you want me to tell you that love in its self is perfect. But it is not, love has a negative side as well that allows pain. If you love another within your heart and soul, you will experience pain. Yours and theirs because you are infinitely connected, like the infinity symbol.

But this time I am facing what is being seen and accepted. Growing in love means being able to stand in the mirror. To understand that to get the best of someone’s heart and soul requires giving the best of self.  This requires that you face things when they show up, do not excuse the behavior, accept the truth about why it exists, and then release it.

Once you release it, do not pick it back up. It’s done. Learn how to grow from it not be stuck in it. You don’t want to be self-rooted in anything that will keep you from growing. As long as you can see your growth, your know you are living. When you are glowing and growing, then you know you are loving.

Returning to love has been scary for me, but it is showing me my true self. It shows me that I am tough, I am soft, I am peace, I am fire, I am confident, I am fearful, and I am grounded spiritually. I can finally use what I have learned to love openly, wisely and truly.

Fedora Loves You. Fedora Loves Poetry

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My Man by Tweet

The one thing me and your ex-girl have in common, baby
We share the same love for the same ol’ man
And I’m the only girl, the only girl (Listen)
So how does she feel she can:
Come around (come around), calling you (calling you) like it’s all good
Violating what I’ve worked so hard for? (Listen)
It’s really not a game
When it comes to the level of respecting me
And must I say this no more
He’s my man, my turf
That’s why I come first
Loves me and appreciates my worth
Through the good and bad, happy and the sad
Through all the hard times it’s true love defined
He’s my man, my turf
That’s why I come first
Loves me and appreciates my worth
Through the good and bad, happy and the sad
Through all the hard times, it’s true love defined
I…I’ll give you reasons to claim you’re love
Because she needs to know where we stand
And I don’t mean to talk about this relationship
But I think your ex has a plan
To come around (come around) , try to take you from me
Violating what I worked so hard for
And it’s a shame, I must repeat myself
And I’m not gonna say it no more:
He’s my man, my turf
That’s why I come first
Loves me and appreciates my worth
Through the good and bad, happy and the sad
Through all the hard times
It’s true love defined
He’s my man, my turf
That’s why I come first
Loves me and appreciates my worth
Through the good and bad, happy and the sad
Through all the hard times
It’s true love defined
Let him go (let him go) let him go
He’s my man, my turf
His love
You gotta let him go
My heart
His love
My man
[repeat until end]
Songwriters: Nisan C. Stewart / Melissa A. Elliott / Cortes Ellis / Craig Xavier Brockman
My Man lyrics © EMI Music Publishing, Universal Music Publishing Group, Reservoir Media Management Inc

Transistions In Love

Transitions in Love

Just Some of My Thoughts... Fedora Loves Poetry 2018Sometimes we go through storms of transition. Many believe that the path of love will be a cloud walk. Lost in the love of your beloved and everything will magically work out. This is so untrue. Love takes work, patience, endurance, and forgiveness.

Transitions are not easy. During transitions you experience a tearing away of the old and the opening of a new unfamiliar path. This path is often empty as you have never traveled it before. then the fear bombards you as you realize you have no control over this at all. I am merely a piece of clay in the master’s hand. He is shaping me into what he wants through this path. How do I navigate this path of love successfully?

We have been on our love journey now for three years. We have overcome so many obstacles. We have broken up several times. But our souls yearn for each other and always find their way  back to each other. We both attempted to leave each other again over the past month. I started it and then he did it. But this time I said NO! We are only going to come right back. This is another one of those hurdles, those fearful moments when the reality of love overwhelms the heart.

I also realized that I will love him as long as I live. Some soul ties never die. I also learned the reason why we always come back is because we exchange an energy between us that gives us life. We commune with each other on a spiritual level when we make love. We literally give ourselves to the other. We live inside each other.

But even after the many obstacles I stand today and say it is all worth it! He is worth it! We are worth it! He is a quality man with the purest heart.  I will allow love to flow between us, through us, inside us, and from us. I love you handsome!!

As you face a new path, a transition in life, remember it is only a temporary change in your path. It is not how it will stay.

Fedora loves you. Peace

Fedora Loves You. Fedora Loves Poetry

My Black Man

My Black Man

Didn’t you know

You were a King

Not in the hood

But you had your

Own country

They stole your crown

They stole your seed

They stole your woman

They stole you heritage

My Black Man

When will you stand

Show them who you are

You are not the coward

They beat you into

You are strong and mighty

Like the Black Panther

They taught you to turn

Your back on your seed

The seed you can’t

Stand to look at

Because in him all you see

Is the failure

They taught you to be

Rise up Black Man

Don’t you know

You are a King

You created systems

Languages and dynasties

That they envied

Claim your heritage

Teach your sons

To be future Kings

Your daughters to be Queens

Stop allowing the enemy

To steal what we

Are destined to be

Meeting in the Ladies Room

The room was packed. Everyone was there, the authors, the editors, and the publishers all in one room. She saw him enter the room. His presence commanded her attention and she wanted to go running to him. But he looked at her and nodded his head, fully reading her mind.

He knows her so well, knows that she will shut the world out for him. But tonight she had company, her friend was accompanying her and she knew that Daddy said in public events like this he was her editor. That is the relationship that they show the world. So she was obedient and waited anxiously for him to be close to her.

Eventually he came to the table. She averted her eyes so that James would not see the love in them. Only when she knew she could look at him did she look up.

He spoke, “Good evening Fedora how are you beautiful?”

She looked directly at him and responded, “Lovely Allen, thank you.”

Then added, “This is my friend James. James meet Allen my editor.”

They nodded at each other and shook hands. Clearly she was the center of attention. But she did not fidget nor was she nervous. She commanded both of their attention.

“Thank you for coming out to support us tonight.” Allen said.

“It is my pleasure da.. to support my fellow authors, they were there for me when my book was released.” She responded.

She thought to herself, “Damn I almost called him daddy. Got to get it together.”

She took a breath and continued turning towards James.

“You know my book took off and Allen was instrumental in my success.” she said.

“Yes, I can see that.” James replied.

“You know James shares our craft too.” She said to Allen.

“Really, that is great.” He replied.

“I must greet my other guests. It was nice to meet you and Fedora we will talk soon.”

He kissed her on her hand and was gone so quickly. Her heart was racing, and she felt the butterflies floating around in her stomach. Get it together Fedora, she said to herself.

“You seem close.” James said.

“Yes, we worked very closely when we were publishing the book.” She replied.

They sat there for a few minutes in silence watching the busyness of the room. James saw someone he knew and excused himself to talk to them.

Fedora went to the ladies room. James watched her from across the room. He was talking to the President of the publishing company but his eyes were fixed on her.

As soon as she reached the ladies room door, she felt him. He came behind her and guided her into the ladies room. She didn’t know if there was anyone in there but he blocked them in by holding her against the door.

“Hi Daddy.” She said looking directly into his eyes.

When she gazed into his eyes she could never hide what was inside. He had a way of pulling everything to the surface.

“Hello my goddess, you look delicious tonight.”

Then he put his hand between her legs, he played there until she released the honey that slowly dripped on his fingers. She just stood there waiting, listening, and wanting him to take her right there.

“You got him locked up.” He said.

He dug his fingers in deeper. She let out a sigh and her body responded in ripples.

“I know, Daddy taught me well.” She responded while lifting her leg to give him more access to her juicy lips.

“Make sure you give it to him good tonight.” He told her, while he stuck his thumb in her asshole. She whimpered and closed her eyes. They were silent for the longest moment. He took in the beauty of ecstasy on her face, as her body trembled from his touch. He took his fingers out and put them in her mouth. She licked all of the honey until there was none left.

“When you are with him tonight, straddle him, and think about Daddy.” He commanded.

“Give him the ride of his life, like you were riding Daddy baby.” He continued.

“Yes, Daddy anything to please you.” She replied.

He released her from the door and kissed her. As she turned to walk away he smacked her ass hard. She closed her eyes briefly and felt the honey ooze out of her wet pussy. Then she continued into the ladies room. He was gone as quickly as he came.