Oh How I Love You by Zacardi Cortez

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My Soul Loves

I don’t know if you can ever say that you are 100% sure someone loves you. But I can say that today because it is unmistakable. I am sure he loves me but why did it take me so long to accept it? I totally surrendered to my heart. Something I spent most of my adulthood trying to avoid. I am 51 years old and I just met the man of my dreams three years ago.

He really is the man of my dreams! My dreams were distorted early on in my life, when I was led to believe that I didn’t need a man. I learned that is not true. I was created to have a covering and to belong to another. I was not meant to be single. When I face this woman in the mirror today I acknowledge that love is her smoking gun. Giving and receiving love is what makes me come to life.

He really is the man I dreamt of way back in my innocent years before I knew many men. How do I know? Because he is my mirror image. I see myself in his eyes. The innocent part in his heart that still exist in mine. That’s where we connect. That place within me that only exists for one other being, God. In my heart, in my soul.

I wasted so much time being scared to open and scared to live. But now I welcome it. I can’t wait to see what comes next. I find myself excited although I don’t know the path. I am closer to God more now than ever. Ironically at the same time I have opened my heart to receive his love. So, for those who think the man of my dreams is perfect, no he’s not. But he is true and peaceful. A graceful place to lay my head and rest. Assuredly, I welcome his love completely.

Fedora Loves You, Peace.

I Once Was Lost…

Lovers,

I have been introduced to another soul that speaks to my heart. Sabrina Claudio’s soulful ballads are uplifting. Her words in “Confidently Lost” resonates deep within me. How can one be confidently lost? I am confidently lost because I am on a road I have never traveled. At times I find myself wandering when I encounter new parts of the journey.

But I am confident about my path and my purpose. I am purposely leaving some things, people, ways, habits, mindsets, and beliefs behind me. As I look back on this year I see ups and downs, lots of emotional pain, more than most could probably bare because I was forced to face some truth. Truth about myself and how lost I have been most of my life. Running around in circles never finding an end.

But I have finally stopped running! I am standing here facing an uncertain future as I walk out this new journey in 2018. It’s a little scary because I am vulnerable. I have finally opened my heart to love. It’s great and I don’t know what to expect. Which is good because I can be surprised at what it will bring into my path. Expectations can ruin things sometimes. So I am open to where the love leads us.

She says in her song “I am confidently lost, I don’t need you to find me, I don’t need you to define me.” For the first time in my adult life I no longer need a man to define me because I know who I am as a woman and his woman. I am a mature woman who feels 15 years younger than she is. I am invigorated by life, all of it, even the shit that hurts. The pain shapes us and forces us to stand tall. Fortitude!  Which is what it should do. But I won’t allow it to cut off my heart from giving and receiving love.

I desire love in all areas of my life. I don’t want to dwell around people who cannot love life, themselves, and others. The negativity is life draining. So as she says in her song-“Thinking about where I am from If I belong there“- speaks to my decision to separate myself from the negativity.

Although my path is unknown, I wouldn’t change it for anything. I am confident that I am not going back to anything I left in 2017. Goodbye heartache, negativity, jealousy, abuse, poverty, homelessness, fake friends, fake family, lies, deceit, selfishness, lack, loneliness, rejection, bondage, barriers, jobs with no purpose, people with no purpose, booty calls, and hiding.

I love you for supporting me over the last few years. This blog has been an evolution and transformation for me. There are bigger things coming from Fedora!!

Fedora Loves You! Peace

Forever by The Floacist featuring Musiq Soulchild

Lovers,

I am so happy to see The Floacist still doing her thing. I am the biggest Floetry fan. I bet you can guess why. Their style combined my love of music and poetry together. Priceless!!!

Enjoy!

---

Hey
How are you doing,
Love?

Some don’t understand
How could they understand?
They don’t believe in love so
Why would they believe in us?

When everything changed
I had you
When my life was rearranged
I had you
When I hit rock bottom babe
I had you
When I thought I’d been forgotten babe
I had you
When I faced all my fears
I had you
When I thought nobody cared
I had you
And that’s why

Whatever you want from me
You know you got it
Whatever you need baby
You’re gonna get it
You got me forever
You got me forever

Listen,
In so many ways baby
You’ve helped me, to grow
There are so many things love
You’ve helped me to know
If we did it all again baby
I’d choose you
Cause there is no end
We’re never through
And that’s why

Whatever you want from me
You know you got it
Whatever you need baby
You’re gonna get it
You got me forever
You got me forever

I can feel you in my soul
Your love it always shows
I can feel you in my heart
You’ll never let me down
Together we’ll grow up
Higher and higher
This lifetime is not the first lifetime
This lifetime is not the last lifetime
I’ll never let you down
This is a real love
A true love
And that’s why

Whatever you want from me
You know you got it
Whatever you need baby
You’re gonna get it
You got me forever
You got me forever

Whatever you want from me
You know you got it
Whatever you need baby
You’re gonna get it
You got me forever
You got me forever

Written by Michelle Sanders, Jim Stewart • Copyright © Universal Music Publishing Group, BMG Rights Management US, LLC

I am ME

I am ME
Can’t you see
You can’t change
What God has made

I am ME
I am beautiful
I am fascinating
I am free

I am ME
Can’t you see
You can’t possess me
Keep me
Boxed in selfishly

I am ME
Let me be
Leave me
To the one
Who created ME
Most Extraordinary

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[Verse 1]
So many times I tried to run away
I couldn’t find rest cause there was no hiding place
And I heard a voice come up from deep within, say
This is who I am
I no longer can pretend

[Chorus]
And I was created for this (created for this)
Oh, I was created for this (created for this)
And I, yeah (created for this)
I was created for this (created for this)

[Verse 2]
So different I know that I don’t feel it
But I’m chosen and I believe that’s what it is
He gave me a song for me to tell the story
And my life’s poured out only for your glory (glory, yeah)

[Chorus]
I was created for this (created for this)
Ooh, I was created for this (created for this)
I was created for this (yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah,)
I was created for this (yeah)

[Verse 3]
I am persuaded
I’m gonna be all that you created me to be (be all)
I’m down in my mind, but least I’m here (yeah, yeah, yeah)
I’m gonna help someone along the way
Yeah, hey

[Chorus]
Created for this
I was created for this
I was created for this
Ooh(da da da da da)
I was created for this
I was created

Produced by Charlie Bereal
Album Charlene

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He created me for this moment. For this season. To be who I am right now. To do the very thing I am doing at this moment. Writing this to you. To tell you how much I appreciate how I was created.

When God created woman, he took his time. He knew that she was made of delicate material, so he handled her with care. He cultivated his creation admiring his work as he proceeded. Once he was satisfied with her excellence he sealed it with his breath of life.

She lives, she breathes, HIS CREATION. Prepared for a moment like this. My life is bringing so many new turns and some unfamiliar territories that are daunting but He created me for that too. He already poured His spirit into my being. I forever live in his love, his power, his admiration of HIS CREATION.

There is no other place to be standing at this point in the journey. Realization!!!

I was created for this!!!