Recently God broke some things up in my life. It was good though because I grew from the experiences. I closed some doors that should’ve been closed years ago. It was refreshing and empowering.
Did I tell you that I am afraid of love? Yes, I have been for most of my adulthood. I have been hurt a lot and decided it was safer not to trust my heart to a man. I am saddened by the number of men in this world who do not value women. The ones who are hurt and unloved use women as sex toys, bed warmers, friends with benefits etc. Whatever term you use to describe how they steal our virtue with no intentions of giving anything back to us. They use us, our bodies, and our benefits leaving us empty and depleted.
When I realized this pattern in my life, I took steps to take myself out of this cycle. I cannot fix the men but I can allow God to help me fix myself. First, I stopped giving away my virtue. I became celibate. I began to recognize the men who only wanted to use me and stayed away from them. I also paid attention to find out why some of them did it. (That’s another post, I promise)
I wrote a poem a few years ago about how men have wanted me but never cherished me just because they love me. I was presented with this love I have never known before. Guess what I almost ran away. Yeah, I know. Chicken. I finally meet a man who loves me the woman not just my body. He calls me beautiful each time I am in his presence. As he kisses me, his eyes show how much he feels for me.
This is refreshing but do you know what the most empowering experience was for me recently? Looking at myself and falling in love with myself again. I love this woman! I love her more than he does.
I want to encourage all people not just women to understand the importance of loving yourself. You have to be able to embrace the good and bad things about yourself. As you allow God to show you the less than perfect you. Open your heart and also allow him to show you how to heal in that area so that you can be the best person you can.
Remember that perfection is not attainable but if we chase perfection we will catch excellence. You may never be perfect but you will excel as you travel the path to purpose and you will purposely give the best parts of yourself to others.