Tag Archives: my heart

Just Some of My Thoughts…. Return to Love

Return to Love…

Just Some of My Thoughts... Fedora Loves Poetry 2018I have been quiet for a while because Fedora has been on her journey. Her journey of growth and freedom. I have learned much about myself and how loving myself before others helps to maintain your personal freedom. It becomes a part of you that no one can take.

A select few may be able to touch her there but cannot take HER away. To maintain a healthy love relationship, you must include time for self. Giving all of ourselves in any relationship depletes your soul. Self is your soul, your inner man, your third eye. If you deplete it, you begin to die. Love begins within self. A healthy love for self will allow you to love another in a healthy way.

Infinite Love Intertwines the Souls by FedoraI have returned to love after working on self. I am loving HIM again. It has brought out some wounds. I know that you want me to tell you that love in its self is perfect. But it is not, love has a negative side as well that allows pain. If you love another within your heart and soul, you will experience pain. Yours and theirs because you are infinitely connected, like the infinity symbol.

But this time I am facing what is being seen and accepted. Growing in love means being able to stand in the mirror. To understand that to get the best of someone’s heart and soul requires giving the best of self.  This requires that you face things when they show up, do not excuse the behavior, accept the truth about why it exists, and then release it.

Once you release it, do not pick it back up. It’s done. Learn how to grow from it not be stuck in it. You don’t want to be self-rooted in anything that will keep you from growing. As long as you can see your growth, your know you are living. When you are glowing and growing, then you know you are loving.

Returning to love has been scary for me, but it is showing me my true self. It shows me that I am tough, I am soft, I am peace, I am fire, I am confident, I am fearful, and I am grounded spiritually. I can finally use what I have learned to love openly, wisely and truly.

Fedora Loves You. Fedora Loves Poetry

Advertisements

“A Couple of Forevers” by Chrisette Michelle

I see it clear, my heart is here
We got each other and let’s take it from there
And if I could I’d love you a forever end time
What we’ve been through, no one else knows
‘Cause all that matters is how far this goes
And it will go until it starts again
Me and you, I look like I might
Nothing can stop love from love
And our love
You know I’m not asking for much
Just a couple of forevers
A couple of forevers
I’m the only one, you’re the only one
Together ’til never
I’m talking ’bout forever
Just a couple of forevers
I’m the only one, you’re the only one
Together ’til never
It can get hard, damn it gets rough
It can get crazy, but not for us
‘Cause we gotta struggle just to stay apart
And me and you are, built like armour
Nothing can’t stop love from love
And our love
And I’m not asking for much
Just a couple of forevers
A couple of forevers
I’m the only one, you’re the only one
Together ’til never
I’m talking about forever
Just a couple of forevers
I’m the only one, you’re the only one
Together ’til never
Never, never
Can you see it, oh oh ooh oh
Can you see the signs from above
It’s so blinding, there’s no denying you and me
You and me are built like armor
Nothing can stop love from loving on us
And I’m not asking you for much
A couple of forevers
Ever, Ever
I’m the only one, you the only one
Together til never
Songwriters: Warren Felder / Tiwa Savage / Chrisette Payne / Kenneth Gamble / Leon Huff / Andrew Wansel
A Couple of Forevers lyrics © Sony/ATV Music Publishing LLC, Warner/Chappell Music, Inc, Universal Music Publishing Group

An Erotic Moment

He came to me today. Flashing that money making smile which was always his way. It has been sometime since our eyes met. But our hearts let us know that they didn’t forget. The pangs of passion that ignite simply from the connection often unspoken but never mistaken.

He touches my face. I clothes my eyes to soak in this moment so that I memorize every sensation his energy generates deep within me. I feel his hand touch the small of my back then in one swoop I am in his embrace.

“You take my breath away.” He says as he holds me so close to him. I feel all of his love in this one quick endless moment.

“Show me why handsome.” I reply, purposely taunting him.

He digs his mouth into my neck. I feel his tongue dig deep into the crevices if my collarbone. I shiver and a fire erupts deep inside me. His hands travel to my ass. He grabs my right cheek, then smacks it real swiftly. I whimper a little as I feel the juices begin to flow.

He sits me down on the stool, then spreads my legs. I feel him slide my panties to the side and suddenly his fingers are inside my pussy. I cum instantly. He holds me so close as my body shivers from the orgasm.

“You are so beautiful when you cum.” He says.

“Only you make me cum this way.” I reply.

He digs deeper inside me waving his fingers back and forth inside my pussy. He watches me intently as I cum. The esctasy on my face is all the pleasure he ever needs. But then he feels me touching him.

My hands search for his hard dick. I stroke him right in his pants. Oh how I love to watch my man become aroused. It is like watching flowers bloom. It’s the beginning of life. I cup his life force in my hand and gently massage him from the tip of his head to the bottom of his shaft. I love the feel of his hard dick in my hands.

I strok while he pushes until the heat is so intense we can’t stand it anymore. He motions for me to step down, bends me over the stool, and enters me from behind. I collapse on the seat of the stool as the wave of orgasm tear through me making my legs weak.

“Hold still beautiful. You’re going to take this!” He says as he thrust his hard dick inside me.

Slowly he fills me with all the love he has been with holding. He motions for me to move towards the couch. He lays me down. His eyes say so much as he goes inside again. He kisses me softly on the lips. Slowly he enters me while his tongue caresses my lips. When he finally reaches his destination, I arch my back and let out the loudest moan. He got me.

“Yes, I am yours!” I say repeatedly.

He continues to make love to me, devouring every part of me sexually until I surrender. He lifts my legs and pulls me close. He strokes and watches my response. I arch my back to receive more of him and he gives more. We continue simultaneously until he erupts inside me.

“Oh my God” I scream as the life force enters me.

“I love you my goddess.” He says.

All from a smile.

“Hard for Me” Leela James

Lovers,

My topic is making love hard. What I mean is that not every one can embrace love, thus making it hard for them to receive and give love. It doesn’t mean they don’t feel the love but usually there is some block from a past hurt that keeps them from fully loving and being loved.

This song reminds me of such a relationship. I like Leela’s approach because she’s not being pushy but lovingly stern about how much she will endure for love. Awesome song. Enjoy!!

Fedora loves you. Peace

Power and Purpose of Pain

Power and Purpose of Pain

My focus recently has been on love and pain. Most of the time I choose not to deal with the pain because pain can be negative. I don’t like to dwell there. But recently I have realized that my avoidance of this topic is exactly what has been keeping me stuck.

I learned the power and purpose of pain. Pain had taken over me and had produced something ugly and scary. I didn’t know who that person was. She was so scared and full of hurt. Then the hurt turned into anger and the anger just kept boiling and boiling but never came to an end. I was stuck in a never-ending cycle. But I had to stop it, so I knew what to do. I reached out and I got help.

God is always there and ready whenever we face things that are bigger than us. All we need to do is reach out and say, “I need help.” God will send help. Help may be found in a friend you can be real with, a counselor, a minister, your parent, etc. It depends on who God sends. But make sure you look for someone you can trust. You can’t handle this on your own. I found my person and I reconnected with God. I allowed Him to show me the path I should be on instead of that path of pain and anger.

When you stay in a place of hurt you allow yourself to become a weapon against another person. When you are being used in that way you can do damage. In some cases, irreversible damage. That struck home with me as I watched an episode of Being Mary Jane when her best friend committed suicide. I’m not saying that it was Mary Jane’s fault or anything. But after she found out about the incident between her best friend and her ex-boyfriend, she refused to talk to her friend. She shut her out. I thought that was a callous thing to do especially when she knew her friend was suicidal.

So sometimes pain will drive us to the point where we cannot help those who are weaker than us because we can’t see past our own hurt and anger enough to see what’s going on with the people around us. We are of no use to anyone when we are in that mode.

I have chosen to live differently and not purposely hurt others because of my own pain. If I find myself stuck and going into that path, I will ask for help because I don’t want to be used as a weapon to hurt people anymore. I know that I may never be perfect and I will probably hurt someone else again. But not in a way that I could have avoided. So, on this new path. I listen. I listen before I respond. I respond according to what I hear. I pay attention more. I deal with my crap and I live in freedom from hurting others because I can’t deal with my own pain.

Pain has another purpose as well. God uses pain to prune us of traits that are damaging to our spiritual and emotional growth. It is often the pain that leads us to a path of healing. We will seek the help we need because we don’t want to hurt anymore. Sometimes it may seem unfortunate that we must hurt so bad just to be set free. But think about the story of Jesus and how much pain he endured to set others free.

Paul had a thorn in his side that God refused to remove because he said his grace was sufficient. The painful thorn was his point of humility. It is what kept him from returning to his old ways. It’s what reminded him of his limitations. I have moments like that. I cannot return to certain situations that I allowed myself to be in before because there is a sensitive spot in my heart that reminds me of what is there should I return to that path.

Now in each scenario pain is used to produce something. But in the latter one it’s not being used as a weapon. But a point of contact, a reminder, it’s just a sore spot. When pain and anger couple together it becomes a powerful weapon that digs in and hurts. It’s not a sore spot, it’s a gaping gash. That is much different. I challenge you today to find your healthy place in the power and purpose of pain. Don’t be a weapon get healed today.