Tag Archives: my heart

“Hard for Me” Leela James

Lovers,

My topic is making love hard. What I mean is that not every one can embrace love, thus making it hard for them to receive and give love. It doesn’t mean they don’t feel the love but usually there is some block from a past hurt that keeps them from fully loving and being loved.

This song reminds me of such a relationship. I like Leela’s approach because she’s not being pushy but lovingly stern about how much she will endure for love. Awesome song. Enjoy!!

Fedora loves you. Peace

Power and Purpose of Pain

Power and Purpose of Pain

My focus recently has been on love and pain. Most of the time I choose not to deal with the pain because pain can be negative. I don’t like to dwell there. But recently I have realized that my avoidance of this topic is exactly what has been keeping me stuck.

I learned the power and purpose of pain. Pain had taken over me and had produced something ugly and scary. I didn’t know who that person was. She was so scared and full of hurt. Then the hurt turned into anger and the anger just kept boiling and boiling but never came to an end. I was stuck in a never-ending cycle. But I had to stop it, so I knew what to do. I reached out and I got help.

God is always there and ready whenever we face things that are bigger than us. All we need to do is reach out and say, “I need help.” God will send help. Help may be found in a friend you can be real with, a counselor, a minister, your parent, etc. It depends on who God sends. But make sure you look for someone you can trust. You can’t handle this on your own. I found my person and I reconnected with God. I allowed Him to show me the path I should be on instead of that path of pain and anger.

When you stay in a place of hurt you allow yourself to become a weapon against another person. When you are being used in that way you can do damage. In some cases, irreversible damage. That struck home with me as I watched an episode of Being Mary Jane when her best friend committed suicide. I’m not saying that it was Mary Jane’s fault or anything. But after she found out about the incident between her best friend and her ex-boyfriend, she refused to talk to her friend. She shut her out. I thought that was a callous thing to do especially when she knew her friend was suicidal.

So sometimes pain will drive us to the point where we cannot help those who are weaker than us because we can’t see past our own hurt and anger enough to see what’s going on with the people around us. We are of no use to anyone when we are in that mode.

I have chosen to live differently and not purposely hurt others because of my own pain. If I find myself stuck and going into that path, I will ask for help because I don’t want to be used as a weapon to hurt people anymore. I know that I may never be perfect and I will probably hurt someone else again. But not in a way that I could have avoided. So, on this new path. I listen. I listen before I respond. I respond according to what I hear. I pay attention more. I deal with my crap and I live in freedom from hurting others because I can’t deal with my own pain.

Pain has another purpose as well. God uses pain to prune us of traits that are damaging to our spiritual and emotional growth. It is often the pain that leads us to a path of healing. We will seek the help we need because we don’t want to hurt anymore. Sometimes it may seem unfortunate that we must hurt so bad just to be set free. But think about the story of Jesus and how much pain he endured to set others free.

Paul had a thorn in his side that God refused to remove because he said his grace was sufficient. The painful thorn was his point of humility. It is what kept him from returning to his old ways. It’s what reminded him of his limitations. I have moments like that. I cannot return to certain situations that I allowed myself to be in before because there is a sensitive spot in my heart that reminds me of what is there should I return to that path.

Now in each scenario pain is used to produce something. But in the latter one it’s not being used as a weapon. But a point of contact, a reminder, it’s just a sore spot. When pain and anger couple together it becomes a powerful weapon that digs in and hurts. It’s not a sore spot, it’s a gaping gash. That is much different. I challenge you today to find your healthy place in the power and purpose of pain. Don’t be a weapon get healed today.

Love and Pain

Lovers,

Here is another playlist featuring music about my latest topic the collision of love and pain. Who wins?

Well in Fedora’s world love always prevails. So listen and enjoy the ride. Don’t forget to visit my YouTube channel and become a subscriber. I have much more coming for you soon.

Fedora loves you. Peace

My Heart

​My heart

That’s what I call you

You beat inside me

Showing me that I

I am vibrant and alive

Your pulses pump 

The love through

My arteries giving me 

a rush

Of adrenaline 

My heart

Jumps when near

In anticipation of

Your touch

Your pulse

Your love

My heart

Is healthy

Sustaining the life

Birthed between us

Spreading our love 

My heart

I miss so much

Just him

Just his touch

Keeps me in love