Tag Archives: love hurts

Love and Pain

Lovers,

Here is another playlist featuring music about my latest topic the collision of love and pain. Who wins?

Well in Fedora’s world love always prevails. So listen and enjoy the ride. Don’t forget to visit my YouTube channel and become a subscriber. I have much more coming for you soon.

Fedora loves you. Peace

Love Among Thorns

I love you
Despite your brokenness
Despite that you have
Torn my heart apart

I love you
Because you deserve
Love just like I do
Embrace my love

As you move forward
Do your best to break free
From the things that
Broke you in the first place

Strive to be a person
Who heals
Instead of hurts
Love yourself
Unconditionally
As God does

I love you
Among your thorns
I delight in your fruit
Born from our love

Back to My Life

Line in the Sand by FedoraDrawing a line in the sand symbolizes that you have reached the limit with something. Simply put enough is enough. This week I have been pushed to my limits with people and situations that have attempted to overload me emotionally and push me into abandoning my path to follow theirs.

I broke up with someone a few years ago who has refused to let me go. I allowed him to stay close for a while because he was a good friend. But he hurt me deeply when he made choices to maintain relationships with his ex-girlfriend. I was not going to be second to any woman especially when the man was constantly trying to convince me that I am first. But that is exactly the thing he was trying to convince me. There should be no convincing needed! Either I am or I am not.

Clearly I was not number one and he was selfish. I put the Letoya Luckett song “Back 2 Life” on my site because it tells a truth that I am clearly living right now. I am so damn tired of men wasting my time with their selfish agendas and I am not allowing it anymore. The key phrase in her song that resonates with me is “You can have those other bitches Cause I’m not the jealous type.” I’m not. I am a beautiful woman who brings a lot to the table so any man who thinks he has better in the other woman should keep right on walking to her.

So today I am done! I claim my healing from the wound he left in my heart when he wanted her more than me. When she was his priority but I was only when he needed something. She should be his woman, so that’s why I removed myself so he would be free to seek whomever he wanted. I love myself too much to allow any man to devalue me. I draw my line in the sand. I am ready to move forward.

I am getting back to my life, back to reality.

Sometimes We Die a Little

Sometimes
Our hearts cause us
To make decisions that
Bring us joy

While our mind
Tells us to stop
Because it thinks
It needs more

Sometimes
The simple things
Are enough
To satisfy

But the masses
Keep saying
You need
To multiply
To diversify

Sometimes
Our lives spiral
Out of control
Not because we lie
But because
We choose to die

When we make choices
That reflect the world
Choosing not to live
According to His word

Sometimes
We forget
That we are humans
Flawed from within

Failing to realize
With God
We will always win

The Story of Us – We Go Deeper

Dear Heart,

We go deeper still!! But not physically. Emotionally, intimately, and purposefully united. We opened ourselves to the other. We didn’t talk much before, we unspokenly expressed what was inside our hearts. It consumed us most of the time and we failed to properly communicate what really needed to be said. This climaxed into a situation that resulted in a brief separation of our hearts, which told us much more than we were ready to deal with. We go much deeper.

I spent time trying to avoid the space that I am in at present. I wasn’t ready to be entangled with another’s heart. But God had other ideas of course. Some that already has me questioning whether Karma is kicking my ass again. Especially, after I ran into the very first one, who entangled my heart, at the mall. Blew me back 28 years when I first encountered him and his heart. It was still there in that moment. We instinctively touched each other inside and out. But he left my heart many years ago and I wasn’t trying to get back here so soon.

But as I lay here in the same space with my beloved, angry and loving him. We avoid the space that sits between us. It is uncomfortable but neither of us wants to budge. I am so angry that I want to leave right now in the middle of the night and make him wonder where I had gone and why. But my heart will not allow me to move.

Instead we speak to each other through music. The shell is threatening to harden over his spot. But God is speaking at that moment through an angelic song that whispers into my soul, “Let him love you” “Let him love you”, continuously until the hardness ceases. I allow him to love me.

This morning, he greets me with his touch. He wants to cuddle. I given in for a minute but I then I pull away, in pain. No, real physical pain. It has been there for two days. Now it is hitting me again. He touches me and guides my hands to his face. I touch him and move my fingers purposely around his face, his head, his neck, and his shoulders. I feel his energy come inside me and my pain begins to dissipate. I feel his love through our skin. Our hearts melt right before us, then we talk. Really talk about what happened. There are no excuses given, only the acknowledgement followed up with an unspoken promise of never again.

A defining moment for us because it is just us together, quiet, stillness, no television, no music, just our hearts, and the breath that draws between us. Peace is her name and she visits us often. He tickled me with his tongue, twirled it around my armpits, my neck, and back again until I laughed uncontrollably and loved every second of it. I left his presence floating like a queen who had been fully loved and admired by her beloved. He rescues me each time from the hardening from the closure of my heart by loving me intently and deliberately.