Just Some of My Thoughts…. Return to Love

Return to Love…

I have been quiet for a while because Fedora has been on her journey. Her journey of growth and freedom. I have learned much about myself and how loving myself before others helps to maintain your personal freedom. It becomes a part of you that no one can take.

A select few may be able to touch her there but cannot take HER away. To maintain a healthy love relationship, you must include time for self. Giving all of ourselves in any relationship depletes your soul. Self is your soul, your inner man, your third eye. If you deplete it, you begin to die. Love begins within self. A healthy love for self will allow you to love another in a healthy way.

I have returned to love after working on self. I am loving HIM again. It has brought out some wounds. I know that you want me to tell you that love in its self is perfect. But it is not, love has a negative side as well that allows pain. If you love another within your heart and soul, you will experience pain. Yours and theirs because you are infinitely connected, like the infinity symbol.

But this time I am facing what is being seen and accepted. Growing in love means being able to stand in the mirror. To understand that to get the best of someone’s heart and soul requires giving the best of self.  This requires that you face things when they show up, do not excuse the behavior, accept the truth about why it exists, and then release it.

Once you release it, do not pick it back up. It’s done. Learn how to grow from it not be stuck in it. You don’t want to be self-rooted in anything that will keep you from growing. As long as you can see your growth, your know you are living. When you are glowing and growing, then you know you are loving.

Returning to love has been scary for me, but it is showing me my true self. It shows me that I am tough, I am soft, I am peace, I am fire, I am confident, I am fearful, and I am grounded spiritually. I can finally use what I have learned to love openly, wisely and truly.

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“Good Love” by 11:11

Do I ever cross your mind?
Even though I crossed the line?
Do you ever think ’bout me?

Yeah, I know we had good times
Baby, I was dumb and blind
To open my eyes and see…
Ooh yeah

There was good love, waiting for me
Too much, time and energy
On someone, that ain’t you
Ooh woah

There was good love, waiting for me
Too much, time and energy
On someone, that ain’t you
Woah

Do I ever cross your mind? (Cross your mind?)
Do you ever think ’bout me? (’bout me baby)

Yeah, I know we had good times (good times)
Dumb and blind (dumb and blind)
I just want only you lovin’ me
Ooh yeah, yeah

I just want that good love
Good love, baby
Good love, with you
I want it darling, you know I need it

I just want that good love
Good love, baby
Good love, with you

Love’s Touch

I have a love
His touch springs up
Butterflies in my tummy
Just thinking about him
Brings a smile to my face

In my eyes he is wonderfully
And imperfectly made
His flaws are his crowns of glory
Shining through as he conquers them
For he is not his flaws
And they are not who he is

For nothing made so graciously created by God
With such a pure heart
Could ever be looked down upon

Make Me Feel (Full Song) | Season 1 by STAR Cast

[Chorus]
You make me feel
Like I never been in love before
Got me wishing, got me hoping it’s real
‘Cause I never had someone like you
No I never knew a love like you

[Verse 1]
Feeling crazy ’cause you know I care
Yeah, you the only one that take me there
Every second, every hour I’m fighting for air
Yeah, I can’t make this feeling disappear

[Pre-Chorus]
I’m starting to trust you it’s scary to know that the loving is strong
I gotta use caution can’t tell what’s right from wrong
It’s comes when you touch me boy you don’t know
But there’s something different with you lord knows

[Chorus]
You make me feel
Like I never been in love before
Got me wishing, got me hoping it’s real
‘Cause I never had someone like you
No I never knew a love like you

[Post-Chorus]
Oh whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa ahh
Oh whoa whoa ahh
La la la la la la la
La la la

[Verse 2]
Can’t you see that baby all I want is you-you-you
Ain’t nobody else can do the things you do-do-do
I’d go crazy if I ever were to loo-loo-lose
Yeah I’ve been loved, but I never felt love the way you love

[Pre-Chorus]
I’m starting to trust you it’s scary to know that the loving is strong
I gotta use caution can’t tell what’s right from wrong
Feel it when you touch me boy you don’t know
But there’s something different with you lord knows

[Chorus]
You make me feel
Like I never been in love before
Got me wishing, got me hoping it’s real
‘Cause I never had someone like you
No I never knew a love like you

[Post-Chorus]
Oh whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa ahh
Oh whoa whoa ahh
La la la la la la la
La la la

[Bridge]
Yeah, I think a bitch in love
You-you-you, you the only one I want
I don’t know what’s gotten into me
Got me slurring all up in my speech
You got every single part of me, part of me
If I let you in don’t you let me down
Never thought you’d be the one I wanna be around
Let me hear you say you love me
Let me hear you say it loud

I’ve been showing more affection
Damn it’s crazy how…

[Chorus]
You make me feel
Like I never been in love before
Got me wishing, got me hoping it’s real
‘Cause I never had someone like you
No I never knew a love like you

[Post-Chorus]
Oh whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa ahh
Oh whoa whoa ahh
La la la la la la la
La la la

Just Some of My Thoughts on…. Did I Make You This Way

Did I make you this way…

Are we really responsible for the outcome of those we intertwine our lives with? Yes, you blend your life with them. You share intimate parts and you build. But what happens when it all shatters?

Fingers begin pointing. Mostly outward towards the other person. You made me this way. You… You… You… How many of us look inside to own our part in the situation. In reality that person was not in the relationship alone so in reality how can they bear all the blame.

When we are hurt, that is what the anger and pain do. They blame apparent source of that pain. If you had not left… If you had not hit me… If you had not cheated… It can go on and on. But what did you do to contribute to them leaving? Didn’t you see the warning signs in their behavior?

At times we will put on blinders to the truth simply for the sake of relationship. We don’t want to be a failure again. I don’t want to leave a broken home. It’s not as bad as it seems. He won’t do it again.

In reality they will do it again unless they have a change in their heart. But their change has little to do with you change. If you find yourself in a pattern. You attract similar or pick similar mates then end up at the same point. Unfulfilled, angry, lonely and empty inside. So, of course we blame them. Why can’t I find someone who will….

The common denominator in each of these scenarios or relationships is YOU! So why do YOU keep pointing your finger outward? When will you finally see the reflection in the mirror that has been in your face? Guess where to start in understanding why you are here yet again?

You start with yourself. Examine why you entered each relationship. What did you really give in each of those relationships that was worthy of love, of honor? What did you give that contributed to the already existing pain of yourself or others?

Hard questions but I guarantee if you look in the mirror you will begin to see your truth and start to find your answers. You will really find out who made you this way.