We go deeper still!! But not physically. Emotionally, intimately, and purposefully united. We opened ourselves to the other. We didn’t talk much before, we unspokenly expressed what was inside our hearts. It consumed us most of the time and we failed to properly communicate what really needed to be said. This climaxed into a situation that resulted in a brief separation of our hearts, which told us much more than we were ready to deal with. We go much deeper.
I spent time trying to avoid the space that I am in at present. I wasn’t ready to be entangled with another’s heart. But God had other ideas of course. Some that already has me questioning whether Karma is kicking my ass again. Especially, after I ran into the very first one, who entangled my heart, at the mall. Blew me back 28 years when I first encountered him and his heart. It was still there in that moment. We instinctively touched each other inside and out. But he left my heart many years ago and I wasn’t trying to get back here so soon.
But as I lay here in the same space with my beloved, angry and loving him. We avoid the space that sits between us. It is uncomfortable but neither of us wants to budge. I am so angry that I want to leave right now in the middle of the night and make him wonder where I had gone and why. But my heart will not allow me to move.
Instead we speak to each other through music. The shell is threatening to harden over his spot. But God is speaking at that moment through an angelic song that whispers into my soul, “Let him love you” “Let him love you”, continuously until the hardness ceases. I allow him to love me.
This morning, he greets me with his touch. He wants to cuddle. I given in for a minute but I then I pull away, in pain. No, real physical pain. It has been there for two days. Now it is hitting me again. He touches me and guides my hands to his face. I touch him and move my fingers purposely around his face, his head, his neck, and his shoulders. I feel his energy come inside me and my pain begins to dissipate. I feel his love through our skin. Our hearts melt right before us, then we talk. Really talk about what happened. There are no excuses given, only the acknowledgement followed up with an unspoken promise of never again.
A defining moment for us because it is just us together, quiet, stillness, no television, no music, just our hearts, and the breath that draws between us. Peace is her name and she visits us often. He tickled me with his tongue, twirled it around my armpits, my neck, and back again until I laughed uncontrollably and loved every second of it. I left his presence floating like a queen who had been fully loved and admired by her beloved. He rescues me each time from the hardening from the closure of my heart by loving me intently and deliberately.