Tag Archives: healing

Just Some of My Thoughts on…. Did I Make You This Way

Did I make you this way…

Are we really responsible for the outcome of those we intertwine our lives with? Yes, you blend your life with them. You share intimate parts and you build. But what happens when it all shatters?

Fingers begin pointing. Mostly outward towards the other person. You made me this way. You… You… You… How many of us look inside to own our part in the situation. In reality that person was not in the relationship alone so in reality how can they bear all the blame.

When we are hurt, that is what the anger and pain do. They blame apparent source of that pain. If you had not left… If you had not hit me… If you had not cheated… It can go on and on. But what did you do to contribute to them leaving? Didn’t you see the warning signs in their behavior?

At times we will put on blinders to the truth simply for the sake of relationship. We don’t want to be a failure again. I don’t want to leave a broken home. It’s not as bad as it seems. He won’t do it again.

In reality they will do it again unless they have a change in their heart. But their change has little to do with you change. If you find yourself in a pattern. You attract similar or pick similar mates then end up at the same point. Unfulfilled, angry, lonely and empty inside. So, of course we blame them. Why can’t I find someone who will….

The common denominator in each of these scenarios or relationships is YOU! So why do YOU keep pointing your finger outward? When will you finally see the reflection in the mirror that has been in your face? Guess where to start in understanding why you are here yet again?

You start with yourself. Examine why you entered each relationship. What did you really give in each of those relationships that was worthy of love, of honor? What did you give that contributed to the already existing pain of yourself or others?

Hard questions but I guarantee if you look in the mirror you will begin to see your truth and start to find your answers. You will really find out who made you this way.

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“This Way” by Khalid & H.E.R.

You say I’m trippin’, bullshit
You’re the one to make me do shit
You’re the one to make me feel it
The feeling of stupid
I was in your corner
When you were putting me through shit
Now you wanna leave
No, you leaving me was foolish
You left me this scar on my heart
And I left you a brand new car
How nice of you, the price of true love
True love is absolute
So what more can I say?
You make me this way
What more can I say?
You make me this way
Yeah, all of these excuses
Say I’m the one that made you ruthless
But you’re the reason I’m crazy
And with you I feel useless
I let you have it
You took me for granted
Always wanna play the victim
When they don’t know the truth is
You left me this scar on my heart
When I’d never take it that far (oh)
Why would you say that it was true love
If true love is absolute, what more can I say?
What more can I say?
You make me this way
(You make me this way)
What more can I say?
(What can I say?)
You make me this way
I tried to stay the night
You won’t let me inside
Oh, you push me away
You’ll never change
Just another fight
Between you and your pride
Oh, what more can I say?
What more can I?
What more can I say? (Say)
You make me this way
You make me this way
What more can I say?
What more?
You make me this way (way)
Whoa, can’t lie
Songwriters: Gabriella Wilson / Khalid Donnel Robinson / Atilla Elci / Cam Lazar / Solomon Fagenson
This Way lyrics © BMG Rights Management, Sony/ATV Music Publishing LLC, Universal Music Publishing Group

Transistions In Love

Transitions in Love

Just Some of My Thoughts... Fedora Loves Poetry 2018Sometimes we go through storms of transition. Many believe that the path of love will be a cloud walk. Lost in the love of your beloved and everything will magically work out. This is so untrue. Love takes work, patience, endurance, and forgiveness.

Transitions are not easy. During transitions you experience a tearing away of the old and the opening of a new unfamiliar path. This path is often empty as you have never traveled it before. then the fear bombards you as you realize you have no control over this at all. I am merely a piece of clay in the master’s hand. He is shaping me into what he wants through this path. How do I navigate this path of love successfully?

We have been on our love journey now for three years. We have overcome so many obstacles. We have broken up several times. But our souls yearn for each other and always find their way  back to each other. We both attempted to leave each other again over the past month. I started it and then he did it. But this time I said NO! We are only going to come right back. This is another one of those hurdles, those fearful moments when the reality of love overwhelms the heart.

I also realized that I will love him as long as I live. Some soul ties never die. I also learned the reason why we always come back is because we exchange an energy between us that gives us life. We commune with each other on a spiritual level when we make love. We literally give ourselves to the other. We live inside each other.

But even after the many obstacles I stand today and say it is all worth it! He is worth it! We are worth it! He is a quality man with the purest heart.  I will allow love to flow between us, through us, inside us, and from us. I love you handsome!!

As you face a new path, a transition in life, remember it is only a temporary change in your path. It is not how it will stay.

Fedora loves you. Peace

Fedora Loves You. Fedora Loves Poetry

Forgiveness is Easy, Forgetting is another Chapter

Lover’s I realize that I am in a healing space right now. Someone has hurt me deeply to the core of my being and I must forgive them. It has been hard because the people who hurt me are people I love.

I must forgive so that I can move on but I do not forget. Nor do I allow those people back into my life so easily. They have to earn a place in my life. They have to earn my trust, loyalty, love again. It will not be freely given.

Should they choose not to return, that is just fine. I have made peace with all of them. I have found my safe place and have managed just fine without them. Yes I miss them sometimes but being alone is worth the peace I have gained.

To those who are still selfishly hurting others. Take a minute and consider your own pain. Imagine someone digging a weapon in your open wound and how unbearable it would be emotionally. That’s what you are doing to the people you are using, lying to, cheating, betraying, all for your own selfish gain. Realize that your pain will stop when you stop causing pain to others.

Fedora Loves You. Peace!