Tag Archives: healing

Love and Pain

Lovers,

Here is another playlist featuring music about my latest topic the collision of love and pain. Who wins?

Well in Fedora’s world love always prevails. So listen and enjoy the ride. Don’t forget to visit my YouTube channel and become a subscriber. I have much more coming for you soon.

Fedora loves you. Peace

Until the Pain is Gone by Daley ft. Jill Scott

Oh ooh oh
Oh ooh oh
Try to see this through my eyes
Cause you’re not the only one confused
In this world where love is prone to lose
Still I’m ready to give this thing a try
But how do I give to someone
Who wants what they can’t have
So if you need love, say it
I know that you feel it but I can’t
Keep holding on and on and on
I need to be the only one
Yeah, cause I know that you get lonely
So show me the things you’re scared to show me
And we can go on and on and on
‘Til the pain is gone
I don’t even know if I believe in love
But in it with you I’d like to be
I’ve just been so cynical baby
So can you convince me change my mind?
We can leave all those demon days behind
Cause, didn’t I mention
I have nothing but good intentions for you
So if you need love, say it
I know that you feel it but, I can’t
Keep holding on and on and on
I need to know that I’m the one
Yeah cause I know that you get lonely
So show me the things you’re scared to show me
We can go on and on and on
‘Til the pain is gone
(‘Til the pain is gone)
The pain that you knew before (The pain that you knew before)
It don’t matter any more
So if you need
So if you need love, say it
I know that you feel it but, I can’t
Keep holding on and on and on (Can’t keep holding one)
I need to know that I’m the one
Yeah cause I know that you get lonely
So show me the things you’re scared to show me
We can go on and on and on
Until the pain is gone, pain is gone
Songwriters: Daly Gareth Terence / Francis Murray / Hitesh Ceon / Kim Ofstad
Until the Pain Is Gone lyrics © Sony/ATV Music Publishing LLC

Two Healed Hearts

When love matures it’s so noticeable. One day you realize that you are wearing each other like your favorite familiar skin. That’s not necessarily bad because it means you have entered a higher level of trust. The reality is that not everyone we encounter will gain access to this space. So when there is one there it’s noticeable.

According to Psychology Today mature healthy love:

“Waits, respects, gives the benefit of the doubt, listens, trusts, cares, accepts, takes pleasure in the successes and joys of the other, accepts love without question of motive or condition, forgives, lets go when necessary, says goodbye…but not perfectly and not always. (Smith, 2012)”

What I find amazing is that this corresponds with a Bible verse on love. I know many are so quick to discredit the Bible but it really does contain some truths to living in freedom.

“Love never gives up.
Love cares more for others than for self.
Love doesn’t want what it doesn’t have.
Love doesn’t strut,
Doesn’t have a swelled head,
Doesn’t force itself on others,
Isn’t always “me first,”
Doesn’t fly off the handle,
Doesn’t keep score of the sins of others,
Doesn’t revel when others grovel,
Takes pleasure in the flowering of truth,
Puts up with anything,
Trusts God always,
Always looks for the best,
Never looks back,
But keeps going to the end (2 Corinthians `13:3-7, MSG).”

This is a sweet time in your journey because you feel free to be your silly self without reproach, to kiss each other with morning breath and not get slapped. Yes moments where you realize you love all of them. So what do you do when you get here?

You love unconditionally, that’s what you do. You don’t condemn because they are less than perfect. All the men in my life have abandoned me emotionally and physically. Starting with the first man, my father. He died and never made amends. I never heard his story. I only know bits and pieces of it.

But parents you should know that it’s important for your children to hear your story. All of it even the bad parts. It will bring healing and understanding to them. We have so many generational curses that are upon us. Especially as black people. Our struggle is not only to exist but to also find out who we are. Our identity was stolen hundreds of years ago. Our families inherited the anger and defeat of many of our ancestors.

But today the Spirit stood up and said this family will be free. We will start anew and create a new legacy in both love, spirit, and relationships. Our children will not endure what we had to, they will experience true freedom and give it to their children.

Today I love and am loved completely. My heart, yes that’s what I call him, he takes care of me. God confirmed for me this morning that my heart will not abandon me. He is not like the others. I unconsciously attracted those who were similar to my father but not this time.

This is a fresh spirit, that gives back to me. That sustains me through our connection, which is our love. I will always be there he is saying and I will allow you is my response. Love and healing, an awesome combination.

Smith, A. (2012, November 15). Secrets to a strong, successful relationship. Retrieved from Psychology Today: https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/healthy-connections/201211/secrets-strong-successful-relationship

Fedora Loves You. Fedora Loves Poetry

 

Back to My Life

Line in the Sand by FedoraDrawing a line in the sand symbolizes that you have reached the limit with something. Simply put enough is enough. This week I have been pushed to my limits with people and situations that have attempted to overload me emotionally and push me into abandoning my path to follow theirs.

I broke up with someone a few years ago who has refused to let me go. I allowed him to stay close for a while because he was a good friend. But he hurt me deeply when he made choices to maintain relationships with his ex-girlfriend. I was not going to be second to any woman especially when the man was constantly trying to convince me that I am first. But that is exactly the thing he was trying to convince me. There should be no convincing needed! Either I am or I am not.

Clearly I was not number one and he was selfish. I put the Letoya Luckett song “Back 2 Life” on my site because it tells a truth that I am clearly living right now. I am so damn tired of men wasting my time with their selfish agendas and I am not allowing it anymore. The key phrase in her song that resonates with me is “You can have those other bitches Cause I’m not the jealous type.” I’m not. I am a beautiful woman who brings a lot to the table so any man who thinks he has better in the other woman should keep right on walking to her.

So today I am done! I claim my healing from the wound he left in my heart when he wanted her more than me. When she was his priority but I was only when he needed something. She should be his woman, so that’s why I removed myself so he would be free to seek whomever he wanted. I love myself too much to allow any man to devalue me. I draw my line in the sand. I am ready to move forward.

I am getting back to my life, back to reality.

Back 2 Life by LeToya Luckett

Maybe I’m supposed to lie
Maybe I’m not too good at saying goodbyes, gotta get better
Maybe I’m supposed to break down
Or willing to fake how
You’re making me feel, tell me whenever
Somehow I thought I could build with you
I thought it was real with you
Doubted myself now
I don’t really know
I told myself that every day

Maybe we’ll survive
Maybe it’s a lie
To keep our love alive
But I know you want to ride
So I gotta get…

Back to life…
(Back to reality)
Back to life…
Back to reality
Back to life…
(Back to reality)
I love you even though you ain’t good for me

I remember when we stunted in your new thing
Got you curvy side bitches like some loose change
I made you my new flame
I been ridin’ wit cha
Don’t you remember when I told you I would stay down
Not going back ’cause maybe I need break now
Before I break down

Worked so hard
It’s so hard
Baby to let it fall apart
Fall apart
So I gotta get…

Back to life…
(Back to reality)
Back to life…
Back to reality
Back to life…
(Back to reality)
I love you even though you ain’t good for me

I just gotta get back baby
Away now, away now
(I love you even though you ain’t good for me)
You ain’t living the life that you claim
All of that shit is a game
I’mma just work through the pain
And get back to my life

Lately
You don’t get it
I can’t get you off my mind
And you can have them other bitches
Cause I’m not the jealous type

I used to think it was me
But it’s your own insecurities
You know that I love you crazy
Thing is you think that
I’ll never leave

So I gotta get back to life
Back to reality
So I gotta get back to life
Get back to me
Back to life..
Back to reality..
Back
Back to life..
Back to reality..
I love you even though you ain’t good for me

(Back to life)
(Back to reality)