Lovers,
Here is another playlist featuring music about my latest topic the collision of love and pain. Who wins?
Well in Fedora’s world love always prevails. So listen and enjoy the ride. Don’t forget to visit my YouTube channel and become a subscriber. I have much more coming for you soon.
Fedora loves you. Peace
When love matures it’s so noticeable. One day you realize that you are wearing each other like your favorite familiar skin. That’s not necessarily bad because it means you have entered a higher level of trust. The reality is that not everyone we encounter will gain access to this space. So when there is one there it’s noticeable.
According to Psychology Today mature healthy love:
“Waits, respects, gives the benefit of the doubt, listens, trusts, cares, accepts, takes pleasure in the successes and joys of the other, accepts love without question of motive or condition, forgives, lets go when necessary, says goodbye…but not perfectly and not always. (Smith, 2012)”
What I find amazing is that this corresponds with a Bible verse on love. I know many are so quick to discredit the Bible but it really does contain some truths to living in freedom.
“Love never gives up.
Love cares more for others than for self.
Love doesn’t want what it doesn’t have.
Love doesn’t strut,
Doesn’t have a swelled head,
Doesn’t force itself on others,
Isn’t always “me first,”
Doesn’t fly off the handle,
Doesn’t keep score of the sins of others,
Doesn’t revel when others grovel,
Takes pleasure in the flowering of truth,
Puts up with anything,
Trusts God always,
Always looks for the best,
Never looks back,
But keeps going to the end (2 Corinthians `13:3-7, MSG).”
This is a sweet time in your journey because you feel free to be your silly self without reproach, to kiss each other with morning breath and not get slapped. Yes moments where you realize you love all of them. So what do you do when you get here?
You love unconditionally, that’s what you do. You don’t condemn because they are less than perfect. All the men in my life have abandoned me emotionally and physically. Starting with the first man, my father. He died and never made amends. I never heard his story. I only know bits and pieces of it.
But parents you should know that it’s important for your children to hear your story. All of it even the bad parts. It will bring healing and understanding to them. We have so many generational curses that are upon us. Especially as black people. Our struggle is not only to exist but to also find out who we are. Our identity was stolen hundreds of years ago. Our families inherited the anger and defeat of many of our ancestors.
But today the Spirit stood up and said this family will be free. We will start anew and create a new legacy in both love, spirit, and relationships. Our children will not endure what we had to, they will experience true freedom and give it to their children.
Today I love and am loved completely. My heart, yes that’s what I call him, he takes care of me. God confirmed for me this morning that my heart will not abandon me. He is not like the others. I unconsciously attracted those who were similar to my father but not this time.
This is a fresh spirit, that gives back to me. That sustains me through our connection, which is our love. I will always be there he is saying and I will allow you is my response. Love and healing, an awesome combination.
Smith, A. (2012, November 15). Secrets to a strong, successful relationship. Retrieved from Psychology Today: https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/healthy-connections/201211/secrets-strong-successful-relationship
Yeah, yeah, yeah
Do you mind if I share what I’ve learned?
Oh, oh, oh
There’s a difference between love and sex
Yes, it is!
There’s a difference yeah, yeah
Can I have it both of them?
I must confess I’ve had my share of girls in my lifetime
I’ve been around the, uh, uh
Honestly I’ve been on the wildest rise
But I’m older now,
And maybe I should slow it down!
But I’m not gon’ lie and say
That I don’t love the way it feels,
When I’m doing my thing
But something’s missing when it’s only a superficial fate
Baby, I’ve learned that…
[Hook:]
There’s a difference between love and sex
Yes it is!
There’s a difference between love and sex
Oh, finally I’ve learned
There’s a difference between love and sex
There’s a difference,
Oh baby, can I have both of them forever?
Seems like nowadays the heart is far removed
From the bedroom
The sex is not emotional!
Oh, the only focus is physical
But there is another level that we can see
If we all want something different, oh, oh
So I’m gonna add a little love into this equation
When I’m doing my thing,
Cause something’s missing
When it’s only a superficial thing
Finally, I’ve learned that…
[Hook:]
There’s a difference between love and sex
There’s a difference between love and sex
Finally I’ve learned
There’s a difference between love and sex
Yes it is, but can I have both of them?
Will sex can really blow your mind?
Will love ease it for you?
Could sex make up a wonderful life?
But love can make a wonderful life!
If we put them both together then we’ll be making love
And I should never have to choose
Which one I wanna do with you!
[Hook:]
There’s a difference between love and sex
Between love and sex, yeah, yeah
Took a while for me to see it
There’s a difference between love and sex
But finally I learned that
There’s a difference between love and sex
And I’m so glad that I know that
There’s a difference, but can I have both of them?
Drawing a line in the sand symbolizes that you have reached the limit with something. Simply put enough is enough. This week I have been pushed to my limits with people and situations that have attempted to overload me emotionally and push me into abandoning my path to follow theirs.
I broke up with someone a few years ago who has refused to let me go. I allowed him to stay close for a while because he was a good friend. But he hurt me deeply when he made choices to maintain relationships with his ex-girlfriend. I was not going to be second to any woman especially when the man was constantly trying to convince me that I am first. But that is exactly the thing he was trying to convince me. There should be no convincing needed! Either I am or I am not.
Clearly I was not number one and he was selfish. I put the Letoya Luckett song “Back 2 Life” on my site because it tells a truth that I am clearly living right now. I am so damn tired of men wasting my time with their selfish agendas and I am not allowing it anymore. The key phrase in her song that resonates with me is “You can have those other bitches Cause I’m not the jealous type.” I’m not. I am a beautiful woman who brings a lot to the table so any man who thinks he has better in the other woman should keep right on walking to her.
So today I am done! I claim my healing from the wound he left in my heart when he wanted her more than me. When she was his priority but I was only when he needed something. She should be his woman, so that’s why I removed myself so he would be free to seek whomever he wanted. I love myself too much to allow any man to devalue me. I draw my line in the sand. I am ready to move forward.
I am getting back to my life, back to reality.
