Do You Know How Much He Loves You

Unfortunately, I don’t have fond memories of love in my life. The majority of people who said they loved me, also hurt me. Therefore, I grew up with a distorted view of love.

As a young woman I realized that men gave me attention because of my physical appearance and somewhere in my head equated that to finding love. Little did I know they were only seeking their own lustful desires. I am glad that I now know the difference and no longer seek love through sex.

But I still struggle with receiving love. When I first started my healing journey, I had to learn about loving myself first. Only through self-love would I be able to receive love from others. I had not realized that somewhere along my painful journey I believed I was unlovable.

Thank God for healing, as I no longer feel this way. I love myself and give love to others freely. But I still struggle with receiving love. I actually struggle with recognizing love as well. This is something that I have been working on in my Spiritual walk.

God mimics love for us in how he cares for us. Love is not a word that is said but rather something that is done. There have been numerous occasions where God has revealed the actions of love bestowed upon me by others that I had missed.

This is what I have learned:

• People who love you stay connected to you. They may not be in your life everyday but they are always there if you need them. They show you that through their actions.

• People who love you may not always say how much they love you. But they may sing your praises to others.

• People who love you will give of themselves to help you when you are in need. It’s like they are compelled to do so because they cannot stand to see you suffer.

• People who love you encourage you to be your best. They don’t pretend like they don’t see your shortcomings, they love all of you, even the shortcomings.

• People who love you will protect you. While you may get hurt in any relationship, a person who loves you seeks to protect the beloved from harm and danger. Like a mother shields her young.

This is not intended to be an exhaustive list of how love is displayed but it is a glimpse into being able to recognize love in your life. I have spent too many years running away from those who love me due to my own fears. So as I recognize some of these acts of love in my life and relationships I am moving toward them now instead of away.

Yes, I want to know how much he really loves me, so I am paying attention and embracing all that God has for me in the second half of my life.

Fedora Loves You. Peace!

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Honestly featuring Avery Sunshine by Boney James

Honestly I don’t need any promises, I just need you. That’s what she sings in this beautiful jazz ballad. I love anything by Avery Sunshine but this song touched my heart because of the simplicity of the meaning.

A Letter to My Heart

Dear Heart,

How are you? I know I keep you at a distance but I feel you often. You know it’s difficult for me to open that door. It only stays open but a short moment at a time. That’s about all I can handle. My Heart was not built to withstand the vulnerabilities of love. At least that’s what they kept trying to tell me. You know the advisors that are always whispering into your ear. Trying to convince you that your Heart is misleading you and it can’t be trusted.

Yes, that is what they have said. But I don’t believe them anymore. See I have watched you over the past year and I see something different inside you. You are moving a little quicker, pumping just a little harder, working very hard to build momentum. You are loving again! It looks good on you. Your color has changed and you smile more.

But heart my dear, I don’t want to be rescued because it indicates that I am weak, a victim needing assistance. I would much rather be redeemed. Being redeemed indicates that he is investing in my worth. But how will she be redeemed when she doesn’t know her worth? When she settles for far less than her father ever sought for his princess.

Yes dear, I learned that you must love self-first, good or indifferent. You must love yourself. You should be able to look at yourself in the mirror and love all of you. Say to yourself in your current state. “I love you despite what you have done, you are worthy of so much more!”

Love who you are as you strive to live on purpose. Love the journey and grow, alone first. You must know yourself intimately before you allow another to know you that way. My dear heart this is how you guard yourself. Stay focused on your destiny and keep growing. Keep loving openly and honestly it will make you thrive. Love yourself dear heart, on purpose!

Fedora loves you.

Peace

Until the Pain is Gone by Daley ft. Jill Scott

Oh ooh oh
Oh ooh oh

Try to see this through my eyes
Cause you’re not the only one confused
In this world where love is prone to lose
Still I’m ready to give this thing a try
But how do I give to someone
Who wants what they can’t have

So if you need love, say it
I know that you feel it but I can’t
Keep holding on and on and on
I need to be the only one
Yeah, cause I know that you get lonely

So show me the things you’re scared to show me
And we can go on and on and on
‘Til the pain is gone

I don’t even know if I believe in love
But in it with you I’d like to be
I’ve just been so cynical baby
So can you convince me change my mind?
We can leave all those demon days behind
Cause, didn’t I mention
I have nothing but good intentions for you

So if you need love, say it
I know that you feel it but, I can’t
Keep holding on and on and on
I need to know that I’m the one
Yeah cause I know that you get lonely

So show me the things you’re scared to show me
We can go on and on and on
‘Til the pain is gone
(‘Til the pain is gone)

The pain that you knew before (The pain that you knew before)
It don’t matter any more

So if you need
So if you need love, say it
I know that you feel it but, I can’t
Keep holding on and on and on (Can’t keep holding one)
I need to know that I’m the one
Yeah cause I know that you get lonely
So show me the things you’re scared to show me
We can go on and on and on
Until the pain is gone, pain is gone

Songwriters: Daly Gareth Terence / Francis Murray / Hitesh Ceon / Kim Ofstad

Until the Pain Is Gone lyrics © Sony/ATV Music Publishing LLC

Facing Fears

Lovers,

I almost crashed and burned but I survived. That’s how the fear feels when you are bombarded with anxious thoughts. It’s no secret lovers that I am afraid of love. There I said it. Was is that bad? No, but it was liberating. So, for once instead of running away from my heart, I decided to run towards him. Still scared yes, but more scared of not experiencing our love.

So, facing my fears has forced me to crush the pain in my heart from old wounds. Allowing new love to burst its way into my being once again. It’s scary, its beautiful, its life and I love it!

It starts today! Make your declaration!

Hear their words in the song:

So sick of trying
So tired of lying
Past the point of dying
No compromising
And that fire we had girl just couldn’t survive the rain
Heard the weather man telling us that it was gonna shower some pain[Hook:]
Sometimes we want to work so bad we stay too long
Then too long turns to too much
Cuz too much’s how two hearts crushSometimes it gets too much
A lot of everything but no love
Just too much
That’s how two hearts crush

Arguing about everything
And having sex just to make me happy
Our folks think we got everything
But they don’t know that we so unhappy
Every time I hear a love song on the radio
I think of what we used to have but ain’t got no more
Like that fire we had girl just couldn’t survive the rain
Heard the weather man telling us that it was gonna shower some pain

[Hook:]
Sometimes we want to work so bad we stay too long
Then too long turns to too much
Cuz too much is how two hearts crush

Sometimes it gets too much
A lot of everything but no love
Just too much
That’s how two hearts crush

[x2]
I swear it feel like pain got a thang for me
It’s like love want me to be in pain and want me to leave
I swear it feel like pain got a thang for me
It’s like love want me to be in pain and want me to leave

 

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Unravel me

Lovers,

Let me share with you why I am sharing this song. As you know certain songs speak to my spirit, this is one of them. I am entering a phase where I am guarding myself sexually. Often we give ourselves to those who disregard the importance and meaning of sexual love.

There are times when one should abstain in order to bring balance and harmony back to your spirit. This is important because as we connect with our mates sexually we also take in their spirit. We become entangled in their battles, agendas, love, glory etc. Now this is okay when that is your intention. You both have decided to become life partners this is exactly what you want.

But if that is not your plan, then entangling yourself in this way disturbs the natural order of your life and goals. So at this point I am finally refocused on my purpose and I do have those who are attempting unravel me.

Lovers it is not easy because once the door to desire has been opened you can’t close it. All you can do is attempt to keep the fire as low as possible. I have successfully abstained for about five years previously. But this time it’s harder. But I intend to stand my ground!

I know you’re trying but you’ll never unravel me!!!!

Fedora Loves you. Peace.