Tag Archives: acceptance

The Phenomenal Booty Call

It’s official. He’s crazy. An old lover came back apologizing for treating me bad, which he did. I recognized an opportunity so I decided to allow him back into my life after a brief hiatus. Daddy told me to always make sure I got what I wanted in any relationship with a man. If you are reading this Daddy, you would be proud of your Goddess.

Do you know he came back with the same game. No difference at all. When I called him on it all he could do was laugh. Lovers to say how embarrassed I was for him is being nice. I am not ashamed to admit that I got hooked up with the wrong man. But there was definitely something in it for me.

He was charming, handsome and the sex was phenomenal. But I know all too well that you can not build anything based on sex. So this time I took my time to see where he was leading.

When he first came back he was very attentive. He did and said all the right things. But it only lasted as long as it took for him to get what he wanted. Me in his bed. Well I was not mad when I left him that night. But he expected that I was going to stay with him, cuddle like we used to. Wrong!!!

Did he really think I hadn’t learned from him before. I had an agenda as well. I wanted sex from him just as much. So I equally used him. I never had any intention on staying. He gave me just what I wanted.

So I pull back and really start pushing him for more time, all the while knowing he can’t fulfill any of it. I am waiting to see how long before the shit hits the fan and he’s had enough.

It did not take long before he was already wanting to get out. Only the fool did not realize that he was being played the whole time. I never had any intention of resuming a relationship with him. Because I already knew the truth.

He is not quite mature enough for a real relationship with me. I knew that when I left him six months ago. This time I watched him. He was uncomfortable, didn’t know his place. He could not figure out where I was because I had changed.

I didn’t bring any bad to him only peace. He told me that I was his peace. But he brought me strife, lies, and chaos. The sad thing here is that he really does love me. But he has no clue what to do about it.

It takes a strong, confident man to love and guide me. That he is not because he still has much growing to do.

I saw him in a picture with his new woman and realized for the first time he really is not all I thought he was. She didn’t really get anything. I made the right call following my spirit six months ago and letting him go.

So today I continue that path as I say goodbye to him for the last time. I will not open this door again not even for the phenomenal booty call. Although I will always love him, I am thankful for my freedom.


A Letter to My Heart

Dear Heart,

How are you? I know I keep you at a distance but I feel you often. You know it’s difficult for me to open that door. It only stays open but a short moment at a time. That’s about all I can handle. My Heart was not built to withstand the vulnerabilities of love. At least that’s what they kept trying to tell me. You know the advisors that are always whispering into your ear. Trying to convince you that your Heart is misleading you and it can’t be trusted.

Yes, that is what they have said. But I don’t believe them anymore. See I have watched you over the past year and I see something different inside you. You are moving a little quicker, pumping just a little harder, working very hard to build momentum. You are loving again! It looks good on you. Your color has changed and you smile more.

But heart my dear, I don’t want to be rescued because it indicates that I am weak, a victim needing assistance. I would much rather be redeemed. Being redeemed indicates that he is investing in my worth. But how will she be redeemed when she doesn’t know her worth? When she settles for far less than her father ever sought for his princess.

Yes dear, I learned that you must love self-first, good or indifferent. You must love yourself. You should be able to look at yourself in the mirror and love all of you. Say to yourself in your current state. “I love you despite what you have done, you are worthy of so much more!”

Love who you are as you strive to live on purpose. Love the journey and grow, alone first. You must know yourself intimately before you allow another to know you that way. My dear heart this is how you guard yourself. Stay focused on your destiny and keep growing. Keep loving openly and honestly it will make you thrive. Love yourself dear heart, on purpose!

Fedora loves you.


Four Things a Man Needs in a Woman Before Marriage by Myles Munroe


I am on a new mission. God has given me a voice to help heal the hearts of those who have been hurt by love, failed relationships, marriages, and life. God is calling us back to the original design. Yes, I know many people don’t believe that the Bible is real and don’t believe in God or Jesus. That is not what this is about.

This is about how men and women were created to interact with each other. The roles we were born to fulfill and when it is done genuinely there is fulfillment in the marriage, in the individuals, in the family, in the community, and in the world. But when the family is broken all of these elements are touched negatively.

As a mature woman who did it incorrectly the first time I am thankful that God has allowed me the opportunity to get it right. I have spent the last ten years working on myself as a woman. Perfecting my singleness so that I may be a whole being, strong, healthy, and ready to fulfill my role as the helper for my husband. I will get it right this time.

I will be sharing a series of videos and posts on this subject to help you do the same. This is not just for women it’s for men too. There are so many men who are lost and don’t know how to find their vision. Part of finding their path is knowing what they need, understanding the mate who was created to help them.

Enjoy this message and prayerfully it will inspire you to begin your journey towards wholeness in your marriage or singleness in preparation for your marriage.

Fedora Loves You. Peace


Back to My Life

Line in the Sand by FedoraDrawing a line in the sand symbolizes that you have reached the limit with something. Simply put enough is enough. This week I have been pushed to my limits with people and situations that have attempted to overload me emotionally and push me into abandoning my path to follow theirs.

I broke up with someone a few years ago who has refused to let me go. I allowed him to stay close for a while because he was a good friend. But he hurt me deeply when he made choices to maintain relationships with his ex-girlfriend. I was not going to be second to any woman especially when the man was constantly trying to convince me that I am first. But that is exactly the thing he was trying to convince me. There should be no convincing needed! Either I am or I am not.

Clearly I was not number one and he was selfish. I put the Letoya Luckett song “Back 2 Life” on my site because it tells a truth that I am clearly living right now. I am so damn tired of men wasting my time with their selfish agendas and I am not allowing it anymore. The key phrase in her song that resonates with me is “You can have those other bitches Cause I’m not the jealous type.” I’m not. I am a beautiful woman who brings a lot to the table so any man who thinks he has better in the other woman should keep right on walking to her.

So today I am done! I claim my healing from the wound he left in my heart when he wanted her more than me. When she was his priority but I was only when he needed something. She should be his woman, so that’s why I removed myself so he would be free to seek whomever he wanted. I love myself too much to allow any man to devalue me. I draw my line in the sand. I am ready to move forward.

I am getting back to my life, back to reality.


Back 2 Life by LeToya Luckett

Maybe I’m supposed to lie
Maybe I’m not too good at saying goodbyes, gotta get better
Maybe I’m supposed to break down
Or willing to fake how
You’re making me feel, tell me whenever
Somehow I thought I could build with you
I thought it was real with you
Doubted myself now
I don’t really know
I told myself that every day

Maybe we’ll survive
Maybe it’s a lie
To keep our love alive
But I know you want to ride
So I gotta get…

Back to life…
(Back to reality)
Back to life…
Back to reality
Back to life…
(Back to reality)
I love you even though you ain’t good for me

I remember when we stunted in your new thing
Got you curvy side bitches like some loose change
I made you my new flame
I been ridin’ wit cha
Don’t you remember when I told you I would stay down
Not going back ’cause maybe I need break now
Before I break down

Worked so hard
It’s so hard
Baby to let it fall apart
Fall apart
So I gotta get…

Back to life…
(Back to reality)
Back to life…
Back to reality
Back to life…
(Back to reality)
I love you even though you ain’t good for me

I just gotta get back baby
Away now, away now
(I love you even though you ain’t good for me)
You ain’t living the life that you claim
All of that shit is a game
I’mma just work through the pain
And get back to my life

You don’t get it
I can’t get you off my mind
And you can have them other bitches
Cause I’m not the jealous type

I used to think it was me
But it’s your own insecurities
You know that I love you crazy
Thing is you think that
I’ll never leave

So I gotta get back to life
Back to reality
So I gotta get back to life
Get back to me
Back to life..
Back to reality..
Back to life..
Back to reality..
I love you even though you ain’t good for me

(Back to life)
(Back to reality)