What If I Can by Shy Girls

I wanna let myself go there
I’d like to know if it’s the way I’ve dream about it
Can I be the one you tune your heart to?
And can I be the one you you shoot your eyes to?

What If I’m the one to take yours clothes off
What if I’m the one that’s really listening
What If I’m the one to make you rise up
What If, What If I Can

I think about you in the evenings
I hear your voice in the room when nobody’s here
Let me wrap myself around your fingers
And let me show you how I really feel about

What If I’m the one to take yours clothes off
What if I’m the one you’re really listening
What If I’m the one to make you rise up (rise up yeah)
What If, What If I Can

What If I can
I can be your one, and I want, I can be yeah.
I can be like…
What If I, What If I, What If I, What If I Can

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Just some of my thoughts… War to Live

War to Live

When I was in elementary school I used to get bullied and would run home everyday to avoid fighting. I was scared in and out of the house. By middle school I had stopped running. I still didn’t want to fight but I stood up to my enemies. At least I began to fight back in my mind.

By the time I reached adulthood that shit just wasn’t funny anymore. Not only did I stop running, I beat the shit out of two of them. I got tired of being bothered for just being me. I am one of the most peaceful people you could ever meet, but when I was a child everyone wanted to fight me.

I developed anxiety and it ran my life until I got tired of that too. It seems like I am in an all out war just to live!

So I count each victorious day as though we won the war because you need to reward progress. For those who have been stuck for many years, these small moments are big deals.

When you face your fears you realize that what appeared as a giant in the dark really was only a big rock. A big rock that can be pushed aside. A big rock can still cause harm but it’s smaller and it can’t block your path.

You realize you are strong enough to push that rock out of the way. Each victory makes that rock shrink until you can crush it with your foot. Today I realized that the rock is not as big as I thought. I can kick the rock now.

I faced some difficult parts of self this week. I saw the broken woman who used to wander this earth in my body in another broken woman. God showed me where I came from. He showed me my growth. I didn’t expect to get so emotional though.

I cried not because I was still in pain, but because I had never seen myself. She was lost, torn, hurt, angry, EMPTY. She was just moving around like a puppet, not making any purposeful moves.

I remember that day when someone put their arm on my shoulder and spoke in my ear. This is not you, where did YOU go. I was told that I wasn’t myself. Thus began my war. My war to LIVE!

That was over 15 years ago. Long time right? My war to live is a lifetime war. Today was a victorious day! So I am celebrating it like I won the war!!

Just Some of my Thoughts….

Just some of my thoughts... Loving Self by FedoraLoving Self

Today was a great day. I cleared a major hurdle in my journey. I looked at my self. She is not perfect, rather flawed but she is beautiful both on the inside and the outside. Life has taught me that love may come easily but it takes truth, courage, and wisdom to maneuver in love.

We could be misunderstanding each other simply because we are not speaking the same language. I realized that much was being said to me but I was deaf to the message. Unresolved hurt and anger can block your hearing. Deal with your unresolved feelings if you want to succeed in love.

I love my man just as he is, flawed and all. I am experiencing the greatest love of my life. I am not afraid of it. I embrace it because this love has brought light to me. I will give light back. Always give out what you would like to receive.

I learned that grace is not free. God may save us from many things but someone pays for it. So it makes one wonder if it’s worth it. Despite the cost, I would do it all over again.

Why? Because some things are meant to shape you into the person you were meant to be. Without the trial, the heartbreak, the anger, you may never be forced to face the real you. Now that I have found her, I absolutely love the woman I am!!! She is awesome and quite content with her life.

To truly love another person in this life requires you to love your self first. To love your self best and to love your self always. I made a vow not to allow love to fade from my life again. Today I choose love!

Fresh Dew

The sun came out today
Why was my life so
Gloomy
All because of choices made
When we never intended to stay

The crater was filled
I no longer seek another’s
Part
To make me feel whole
Cause my heart is finally healed

Freedom is new for me
Splashing a fresh dew
Upon
My face giving me the
Power to live effortlessly

Things are not the same
I finally know how to be
Content
Basking in all His glory
Resting for the remainder of days

Stand Still by Sabrina Claudio

Time stands still
While we stand here
Don’t wanna fight you
I need the same as you
I want trust too
I want us too
I want lust too
I want lust too
I want love too
I want this too
I’m wanting you
Time is being wasted screaming
Not listen I promise you’ll heal me better
You’re so unaware about the feeling
The same thing, the same damn thing
Time is standing still
And why are we still here
I don’t wanna fight you
I’m needing the same as you
I want trust too
I want us too
I want lust too
I want us too
I want love too
I want this too
I’m wanting you
Songwriters: Ajay Bhattacharyya / Sabrina Claudio
Stand Still lyrics © Sony/ATV Music Publishing LLC, Warner/Chappell Music, Inc

Igniting the fire of Love to heal thy heart.

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