Category Archives: Transformation

Poems about growth.

Just some of my thoughts…

Aside May 11, 2018 Fedora

Unravel me

Lovers,

Let me share with you why I am sharing this song. As you know certain songs speak to my spirit, this is one of them. I am entering a phase where I am guarding myself sexually. Often we give ourselves to those who disregard the importance and meaning of sexual love.

There are times when one should abstain in order to bring balance and harmony back to your spirit. This is important because as we connect with our mates sexually we also take in their spirit. We become entangled in their battles, agendas, love, glory etc. Now this is okay when that is your intention. You both have decided to become life partners this is exactly what you want.

But if that is not your plan, then entangling yourself in this way disturbs the natural order of your life and goals. So at this point I am finally refocused on my purpose and I do have those who are attempting unravel me.

Lovers it is not easy because once the door to desire has been opened you can’t close it. All you can do is attempt to keep the fire as low as possible. I have successfully abstained for about five years previously. But this time it’s harder. But I intend to stand my ground!

I know you’re trying but you’ll never unravel me!!!!

Fedora Loves you. Peace.

Just some of my thoughts… War to Live

May 4, 2018 Fedora

War to Live

When I was in elementary school I used to get bullied and would run home everyday to avoid fighting. I was scared in and out of the house. By middle school I had stopped running. I still didn’t want to fight but I stood up to my enemies. At least I began to fight back in my mind.

By the time I reached adulthood that shit just wasn’t funny anymore. Not only did I stop running, I beat the shit out of two of them. I got tired of being bothered for just being me. I am one of the most peaceful people you could ever meet, but when I was a child everyone wanted to fight me.

I developed anxiety and it ran my life until I got tired of that too. It seems like I am in an all out war just to live!

So I count each victorious day as though we won the war because you need to reward progress. For those who have been stuck for many years, these small moments are big deals.

When you face your fears you realize that what appeared as a giant in the dark really was only a big rock. A big rock that can be pushed aside. A big rock can still cause harm but it’s smaller and it can’t block your path.

You realize you are strong enough to push that rock out of the way. Each victory makes that rock shrink until you can crush it with your foot. Today I realized that the rock is not as big as I thought. I can kick the rock now.

I faced some difficult parts of self this week. I saw the broken woman who used to wander this earth in my body in another broken woman. God showed me where I came from. He showed me my growth. I didn’t expect to get so emotional though.

I cried not because I was still in pain, but because I had never seen myself. She was lost, torn, hurt, angry, EMPTY. She was just moving around like a puppet, not making any purposeful moves.

I remember that day when someone put their arm on my shoulder and spoke in my ear. This is not you, where did YOU go. I was told that I wasn’t myself. Thus began my war. My war to LIVE!

That was over 15 years ago. Long time right? My war to live is a lifetime war. Today was a victorious day! So I am celebrating it like I won the war!!

Love, Transformation

Just Some of my Thoughts….

May 2, 2018 Fedora 5 Comments

Loving Self

Today was a great day. I cleared a major hurdle in my journey. I looked at my self. She is not perfect, rather flawed but she is beautiful both on the inside and the outside. Life has taught me that love may come easily but it takes truth, courage, and wisdom to maneuver in love.

We could be misunderstanding each other simply because we are not speaking the same language. I realized that much was being said to me but I was deaf to the message. Unresolved hurt and anger can block your hearing. Deal with your unresolved feelings if you want to succeed in love.

I love my man just as he is, flawed and all. I am experiencing the greatest love of my life. I am not afraid of it. I embrace it because this love has brought light to me. I will give light back. Always give out what you would like to receive.

I learned that grace is not free. God may save us from many things but someone pays for it. So it makes one wonder if it’s worth it. Despite the cost, I would do it all over again.

Why? Because some things are meant to shape you into the person you were meant to be. Without the trial, the heartbreak, the anger, you may never be forced to face the real you. Now that I have found her, I absolutely love the woman I am!!! She is awesome and quite content with her life.

To truly love another person in this life requires you to love your self first. To love your self best and to love your self always. I made a vow not to allow love to fade from my life again. Today I choose love!