Just Some of My Thoughts…. Return to Love

Return to Love…

I have been quiet for a while because Fedora has been on her journey. Her journey of growth and freedom. I have learned much about myself and how loving myself before others helps to maintain your personal freedom. It becomes a part of you that no one can take.

A select few may be able to touch her there but cannot take HER away. To maintain a healthy love relationship, you must include time for self. Giving all of ourselves in any relationship depletes your soul. Self is your soul, your inner man, your third eye. If you deplete it, you begin to die. Love begins within self. A healthy love for self will allow you to love another in a healthy way.

I have returned to love after working on self. I am loving HIM again. It has brought out some wounds. I know that you want me to tell you that love in its self is perfect. But it is not, love has a negative side as well that allows pain. If you love another within your heart and soul, you will experience pain. Yours and theirs because you are infinitely connected, like the infinity symbol.

But this time I am facing what is being seen and accepted. Growing in love means being able to stand in the mirror. To understand that to get the best of someone’s heart and soul requires giving the best of self.  This requires that you face things when they show up, do not excuse the behavior, accept the truth about why it exists, and then release it.

Once you release it, do not pick it back up. It’s done. Learn how to grow from it not be stuck in it. You don’t want to be self-rooted in anything that will keep you from growing. As long as you can see your growth, your know you are living. When you are glowing and growing, then you know you are loving.

Returning to love has been scary for me, but it is showing me my true self. It shows me that I am tough, I am soft, I am peace, I am fire, I am confident, I am fearful, and I am grounded spiritually. I can finally use what I have learned to love openly, wisely and truly.

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“Good Love” by 11:11

Do I ever cross your mind?
Even though I crossed the line?
Do you ever think ’bout me?

Yeah, I know we had good times
Baby, I was dumb and blind
To open my eyes and see…
Ooh yeah

There was good love, waiting for me
Too much, time and energy
On someone, that ain’t you
Ooh woah

There was good love, waiting for me
Too much, time and energy
On someone, that ain’t you
Woah

Do I ever cross your mind? (Cross your mind?)
Do you ever think ’bout me? (’bout me baby)

Yeah, I know we had good times (good times)
Dumb and blind (dumb and blind)
I just want only you lovin’ me
Ooh yeah, yeah

I just want that good love
Good love, baby
Good love, with you
I want it darling, you know I need it

I just want that good love
Good love, baby
Good love, with you

Just Some of My Thoughts on…. Did I Make You This Way

Did I make you this way…

Are we really responsible for the outcome of those we intertwine our lives with? Yes, you blend your life with them. You share intimate parts and you build. But what happens when it all shatters?

Fingers begin pointing. Mostly outward towards the other person. You made me this way. You… You… You… How many of us look inside to own our part in the situation. In reality that person was not in the relationship alone so in reality how can they bear all the blame.

When we are hurt, that is what the anger and pain do. They blame apparent source of that pain. If you had not left… If you had not hit me… If you had not cheated… It can go on and on. But what did you do to contribute to them leaving? Didn’t you see the warning signs in their behavior?

At times we will put on blinders to the truth simply for the sake of relationship. We don’t want to be a failure again. I don’t want to leave a broken home. It’s not as bad as it seems. He won’t do it again.

In reality they will do it again unless they have a change in their heart. But their change has little to do with you change. If you find yourself in a pattern. You attract similar or pick similar mates then end up at the same point. Unfulfilled, angry, lonely and empty inside. So, of course we blame them. Why can’t I find someone who will….

The common denominator in each of these scenarios or relationships is YOU! So why do YOU keep pointing your finger outward? When will you finally see the reflection in the mirror that has been in your face? Guess where to start in understanding why you are here yet again?

You start with yourself. Examine why you entered each relationship. What did you really give in each of those relationships that was worthy of love, of honor? What did you give that contributed to the already existing pain of yourself or others?

Hard questions but I guarantee if you look in the mirror you will begin to see your truth and start to find your answers. You will really find out who made you this way.

This Bitter Earth by Aretha Franklin

This bitter, bitter earth
What fruit had passed
What good is love?
That no one wants to share

And if my life
My life is like the dust
That hides the glow of a rose
Tell me, what good am I?

Heaven, heaven, heaven only knows

Ooh, this, this bitter earth
Well, I found out it can be, be so, be so cold
Today, oh yeah
And before you know it
Too soon, you’ve grown old
But while a voice within me cries
Someone, someone may answer my call

And this bitter earth
This bitter, bitter earth
May not, may not be so bitter after all
while a voice
While this voice within me cries
Someone, someone may answer my call

And this, this bitter
This real cold earth
Hmm-hmm
May not
Be so bitter after all, hmm-hmm

Songwriters: Clyde Lovern Otis

This Bitter Earth lyrics © Sony/ATV Music Publishing LLC, Third Side Music Inc.

Just Some of My Thoughts on His Creation

He created me for this moment. For this season. To be who I am right now. To do the very thing I am doing at this moment. Writing this to you. To tell you how much I appreciate how I was created.

When God created woman, he took his time. He knew that she was made of delicate material, so he handled her with care. He cultivated his creation admiring his work as he proceeded. Once he was satisfied with her excellence he sealed it with his breath of life.

She lives, she breathes, HIS CREATION. Prepared for a moment like this. My life is bringing so many new turns and some unfamiliar territories that are daunting but He created me for that too. He already poured His spirit into my being. I forever live in his love, his power, his admiration of HIS CREATION.

There is no other place to be standing at this point in the journey. Realization!!!

I was created for this!!!