Just Some of My Thoughts…. Return to Love

Return to Love…

I have been quiet for a while because Fedora has been on her journey. Her journey of growth and freedom. I have learned much about myself and how loving myself before others helps to maintain your personal freedom. It becomes a part of you that no one can take.

A select few may be able to touch her there but cannot take HER away. To maintain a healthy love relationship, you must include time for self. Giving all of ourselves in any relationship depletes your soul. Self is your soul, your inner man, your third eye. If you deplete it, you begin to die. Love begins within self. A healthy love for self will allow you to love another in a healthy way.

I have returned to love after working on self. I am loving HIM again. It has brought out some wounds. I know that you want me to tell you that love in its self is perfect. But it is not, love has a negative side as well that allows pain. If you love another within your heart and soul, you will experience pain. Yours and theirs because you are infinitely connected, like the infinity symbol.

But this time I am facing what is being seen and accepted. Growing in love means being able to stand in the mirror. To understand that to get the best of someone’s heart and soul requires giving the best of self.  This requires that you face things when they show up, do not excuse the behavior, accept the truth about why it exists, and then release it.

Once you release it, do not pick it back up. It’s done. Learn how to grow from it not be stuck in it. You don’t want to be self-rooted in anything that will keep you from growing. As long as you can see your growth, your know you are living. When you are glowing and growing, then you know you are loving.

Returning to love has been scary for me, but it is showing me my true self. It shows me that I am tough, I am soft, I am peace, I am fire, I am confident, I am fearful, and I am grounded spiritually. I can finally use what I have learned to love openly, wisely and truly.

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Just Some of My Thoughts on…. Did I Make You This Way

Did I make you this way…

Are we really responsible for the outcome of those we intertwine our lives with? Yes, you blend your life with them. You share intimate parts and you build. But what happens when it all shatters?

Fingers begin pointing. Mostly outward towards the other person. You made me this way. You… You… You… How many of us look inside to own our part in the situation. In reality that person was not in the relationship alone so in reality how can they bear all the blame.

When we are hurt, that is what the anger and pain do. They blame apparent source of that pain. If you had not left… If you had not hit me… If you had not cheated… It can go on and on. But what did you do to contribute to them leaving? Didn’t you see the warning signs in their behavior?

At times we will put on blinders to the truth simply for the sake of relationship. We don’t want to be a failure again. I don’t want to leave a broken home. It’s not as bad as it seems. He won’t do it again.

In reality they will do it again unless they have a change in their heart. But their change has little to do with you change. If you find yourself in a pattern. You attract similar or pick similar mates then end up at the same point. Unfulfilled, angry, lonely and empty inside. So, of course we blame them. Why can’t I find someone who will….

The common denominator in each of these scenarios or relationships is YOU! So why do YOU keep pointing your finger outward? When will you finally see the reflection in the mirror that has been in your face? Guess where to start in understanding why you are here yet again?

You start with yourself. Examine why you entered each relationship. What did you really give in each of those relationships that was worthy of love, of honor? What did you give that contributed to the already existing pain of yourself or others?

Hard questions but I guarantee if you look in the mirror you will begin to see your truth and start to find your answers. You will really find out who made you this way.

Transistions In Love

Transitions in Love

Sometimes we go through storms of transition. Many believe that the path of love will be a cloud walk. Lost in the love of your beloved and everything will magically work out. This is so untrue. Love takes work, patience, endurance, and forgiveness.

Transitions are not easy. During transitions you experience a tearing away of the old and the opening of a new unfamiliar path. This path is often empty as you have never traveled it before. then the fear bombards you as you realize you have no control over this at all. I am merely a piece of clay in the master’s hand. He is shaping me into what he wants through this path. How do I navigate this path of love successfully?

We have been on our love journey now for three years. We have overcome so many obstacles. We have broken up several times. But our souls yearn for each other and always find their way  back to each other. We both attempted to leave each other again over the past month. I started it and then he did it. But this time I said NO! We are only going to come right back. This is another one of those hurdles, those fearful moments when the reality of love overwhelms the heart.

I also realized that I will love him as long as I live. Some soul ties never die. I also learned the reason why we always come back is because we exchange an energy between us that gives us life. We commune with each other on a spiritual level when we make love. We literally give ourselves to the other. We live inside each other.

But even after the many obstacles I stand today and say it is all worth it! He is worth it! We are worth it! He is a quality man with the purest heart.  I will allow love to flow between us, through us, inside us, and from us. I love you handsome!!

As you face a new path, a transition in life, remember it is only a temporary change in your path. It is not how it will stay.

Fedora loves you. Peace

The Story of Us – She Adores Him

“Let me look at you.” She says, as she gazes upon his sculpted body.

Shaking her head, she slowly traces the path of his bulging vein on his right arm, through its peaks and valleys. The beauty of his body excites her. The chiseled muscles that he purposely flexes when he knows she is watching.

“You are such a hot sexy man.”

” Will you allow me to celebrate the beauty of your manliness?” She asks, moving her gaze to his eyes. She loves to admire him.

He strokes her left cheek and then kisses her slightly parting her lips with his tongue. She responds in kind with the tip of her tongue. They stay locked for a few seconds. She pulls back from his kiss and returns her gaze to his body.

She pours oil into her left hand, then some on his chest. She rubs the oil over his chest and allows some to drip on the ripples of his abs. She catches the oil with the other hand and works both hands over his body until they met in the middle. Wait, she isn’t ready for that yet.

She pours more oil on his biceps and watches them come alive as he moves his arms. She massages his shoulders paying close attention to tight spots. She wants to relieve all the stress from his day before they make love.

She sits behind him and kisses the back of his neck. As she kisses him, she remembers their latest fight. She pauses for a moment as her mind goes back to the event, until his hand lightly touches hers and she starts massaging him again. Then, he guides her hands between  his legs. She looks down and decides its best to follow suit.

She pours more oil into her hand and cups his dick like it was in a cup of oil. Slowly she drips the oil along his hardness. She squeezes and strokes simultaneously from the shaft to the head. The vein bulges along his shaft like a bolt of thunder, exciting all the juices within her body.

“If you keep doing that I am going to dig my tongue in your pussy from the back.” He taunts.

She doesn’t flinch. She continues to massage his hard bulging piece of love like it was the first time. She strokes and squeezes the head and then plays with it using her fingers.

In a matter of minutes he is up and re-positions her, guiding her to her knees. Moments later, she is startled, as she feels the wetness of his tongue between her pussy lips. She feels his tongue go in and out of her hot wet pussy. She shivers as she feels the orgasm hit her hips then radiate to the rest of her body.

Next, she feels him breathe life into her through what she has termed as “the SWOOSH”, the wave that penetrates her soul as he enters her. She melts, her body instantly succumbs to him, as she manages to mutter,

“Yes, that’s what I want.”

“That’s what you deserve. To be loved this way always.” He replies, gripping her thighs as he thrusts more inside her.

She wants to feel his life pulsate within her body as he gives his love to her. He goes deeper, then he says,

“I want to kiss your lips beautiful.”

So he turns her on her back. Her clit is standing at attention and he sucks on it until she arches her bottom in the air, in surrender.  His tongue is now on hers. She smells her scent on him as he kisses her and they lock for a minute. Then he caresses her body as he begins his dissent into her.

Once he is inside her, she releases waves of orgasms. He continues the momentum by simultaneously riding her waves and kissing her. Their eyes lock for a second. He looks inside her then deliberately touches her in a way that she knows how he feels.

“Ooh baby!!”  She moans loudly, as he rhythmically strokes her, watches her, and kisses her.

They love each other this way until everything is said, every breath of life is shared, and Us is renewed and reconnected. She is sweating, its dripping down between her breasts, but she doesn’t care. All they care about right now is restoring what broke during their last disagreement. They promised to never allow the anger to hang around too long, to always allow their love to rule because it sustains them.

Which is exactly what happens when the waterfall starts to erupt inside her. She shivers and her pussy pulsates as they are bound by love once more. Relieved they both fall into the final embrace before sleep comes on.

Meeting in the Ladies Room

The room was packed. Everyone was there, the authors, the editors, and the publishers all in one room. She saw him enter the room. His presence commanded her attention and she wanted to go running to him. But he looked at her and nodded his head, fully reading her mind.

He knows her so well, knows that she will shut the world out for him. But tonight she had company, her friend was accompanying her and she knew that Daddy said in public events like this he was her editor. That is the relationship that they show the world. So she was obedient and waited anxiously for him to be close to her.

Eventually he came to the table. She averted her eyes so that James would not see the love in them. Only when she knew she could look at him did she look up.

He spoke, “Good evening Fedora how are you beautiful?”

She looked directly at him and responded, “Lovely Allen, thank you.”

Then added, “This is my friend James. James meet Allen my editor.”

They nodded at each other and shook hands. Clearly she was the center of attention. But she did not fidget nor was she nervous. She commanded both of their attention.

“Thank you for coming out to support us tonight.” Allen said.

“It is my pleasure da.. to support my fellow authors, they were there for me when my book was released.” She responded.

She thought to herself, “Damn I almost called him daddy. Got to get it together.”

She took a breath and continued turning towards James.

“You know my book took off and Allen was instrumental in my success.” she said.

“Yes, I can see that.” James replied.

“You know James shares our craft too.” She said to Allen.

“Really, that is great.” He replied.

“I must greet my other guests. It was nice to meet you and Fedora we will talk soon.”

He kissed her on her hand and was gone so quickly. Her heart was racing, and she felt the butterflies floating around in her stomach. Get it together Fedora, she said to herself.

“You seem close.” James said.

“Yes, we worked very closely when we were publishing the book.” She replied.

They sat there for a few minutes in silence watching the busyness of the room. James saw someone he knew and excused himself to talk to them.

Fedora went to the ladies room. James watched her from across the room. He was talking to the President of the publishing company but his eyes were fixed on her.

As soon as she reached the ladies room door, she felt him. He came behind her and guided her into the ladies room. She didn’t know if there was anyone in there but he blocked them in by holding her against the door.

“Hi Daddy.” She said looking directly into his eyes.

When she gazed into his eyes she could never hide what was inside. He had a way of pulling everything to the surface.

“Hello my goddess, you look delicious tonight.”

Then he put his hand between her legs, he played there until she released the honey that slowly dripped on his fingers. She just stood there waiting, listening, and wanting him to take her right there.

“You got him locked up.” He said.

He dug his fingers in deeper. She let out a sigh and her body responded in ripples.

“I know, Daddy taught me well.” She responded while lifting her leg to give him more access to her juicy lips.

“Make sure you give it to him good tonight.” He told her, while he stuck his thumb in her asshole. She whimpered and closed her eyes. They were silent for the longest moment. He took in the beauty of ecstasy on her face, as her body trembled from his touch. He took his fingers out and put them in her mouth. She licked all of the honey until there was none left.

“When you are with him tonight, straddle him, and think about Daddy.” He commanded.

“Give him the ride of his life, like you were riding Daddy baby.” He continued.

“Yes, Daddy anything to please you.” She replied.

He released her from the door and kissed her. As she turned to walk away he smacked her ass hard. She closed her eyes briefly and felt the honey ooze out of her wet pussy. Then she continued into the ladies room. He was gone as quickly as he came.