Calor Butter – The Confrontation

Butter realized that she really needed to do some serious self-reflecting before making a decision that would affect everything in her life. She sat down at the dressing table and stared intently at her reflection.

“Why are you looking at me like that?” She asked herself.

“I am looking at you because you look different.” Calor responded.

“No, I don’t I am you, the same person.” She said.

“We have the same face, the same features, and the same smile but there is something different in the eyes. You look sad all the time.” Calor stated.

“I do not.” She insisted.

“Yes you do. You are retreating back to that scared little girl. You know the one who cried under the covers, while covering her ears to muffle out the sounds.” Calor taunted.

“What are you talking about Calor? I know who I am!” She yelled.

“You thought you did. Look you don’t even know your name. That’s her name, the little girl who allows fear to rule her life. Poor Butter scared of everything and everybody, especially men.” Calor said.

“I’m not scared of men. I have plenty of men in my life.” She insisted.

“Sure the ones you consider to be ‘safe’ that you try to control, that is if you call them men.” Calor laughed.

“Hmm you don’t know what you are talking about.” Butter said as she rolled her eyes at her reflection.

“Okay well what about your current boyfriend who relies on you for everything. He could not find his way out of a paper bag without you holding his hand. He cannot take care of you the way you really need and deserve yet you continue to hold on to him like you are so desperate.” Calor said.

“I am not desperate, he loves me and I love him.” She responded.

“It is time for you to find a real man, who can uplift you. Give you what you need instead of you always giving to them and not getting anything back. Look at you, you are tired and worn out. A real man would not run you into the ground like that. Badger you all the time and call you twenty times a day to say nothing because he has nothing to do. But this is what you call love.” Calor continued.

“Shut up! I don’t want to hear any more of this!” She yelled at herself.

“Oh you are going to listen because I am tired of this shit! I don’t want to do this anymore. I want my freedom. I want to be able to love and be loved by a real man. Not a little boy. So you are going to listen because it is time for you to face your fears.” Calor insisted.

“No!” She yelled.

“You tell yourself that you are a real woman and you know what you want but you play yourself down. You hide your true beauty and the best things about yourself behind the masks of fear. You tell yourself that you are happy but deep down in your heart you are yearning for more. Not just from the men but from yourself. You are unfulfilled and you lie to keep up the charade.” Calor continued.

“Stop it! I don’t do that.” She yelled covering her ears with her hands.

“Yes you do. You allowed yourself to gain an extra 40 lbs so that your shape would be different and men would not find you attractive. You stopped taking the time to pamper yourself and make yourself sexy because you don’t feel it anymore. You look in the mirror see that scared little girl and no way to get out of that scary existence. No way to make the noises stop, the voices are so loud that keep telling you that you will never measure up. They remind you of the fighting, the shouting, the touching, and the lack of love that surrounded your life as a child.” Calor said.

“I was loved, what do you mean by that?” Butter look astonished.

“Yeah in whose home did you group up? The one we were in was full of hate, fear, and selfishness. No love emanated from within those walls. That is why you don’t love yourself. You don’t know how to love. You don’t recognize love and still believe that it is a myth.” Calor said.

(Sniff, Sniff) The tears are rolling down her cheek.

“Why are you crying if none of this is true? It is time that you faced the truth. What is that saying? Oh yeah the truth shall set you free. That is what you need to do. You need to face the truth about who you are and stop living this damn lie.” Calor said.

“I don’t know how. This is all I know. I don’t even know where to start.” She replied.

“You can start by recognizing me. Hello I am Calor and I am the woman who is screaming to come out of you. I am sexy, bold, and beautiful.”

“I don’t know anything about those things.” She said.

“Yes you do, I have always been here. I was almost freed one time many years ago before you got married. But after that fiasco, I was buried, never to be heard of again.” Calor said.

“So how did you get out now?” She asked.

“Do you remember that man you met a few months ago who spoke all of those things to you about how beautiful you were and how he really wanted you. You remember the one you ran away from because you thought he was crazy, saying those things to you. He wanted to spoil you and take you out but you said no.” Calor said.

“Yes, I remember him. I was scared of him and thought he was going to hurt me. They all do you know. They say they want me but when they get me they tie me up and put me in a box. Then they treat me like I am their possession instead of their woman.” She said.

“Well he was real and I saw it, so I started clawing my way to surface. He would not give up easily and every time you had an encounter with him, I came up a little more. But now that I am back, I am not leaving. You will acknowledge me because I am you.” Calor said.

“But what do I do, how do I become you? I am so confused.” She asked.

“Oh baby you were always me and I was always you. Those demons pushed and pushed so hard until I was buried so far that you never remembered that I existed. But look at me, look into my eyes. Don’t you recognize that glimmer, the passion?” Calor said.

“Yes, I do remember seeing that before. I was passionate about many things but I settled for what I could get instead of going after those things.” She replied.

“Yes, I know but you don’t have to do that anymore. Allow me to come out and watch your world change for the better. You will be more confident and content with your life. Just allow me to escape please do not bury me again because this time I don’t think I will survive.” Calor pleaded.

“Not survive, what do you mean?” Shen asked.

“I mean that if you allow them to kill me then I will be gone forever. You will stay the way you are scared and lonely. But if you stand up now, put your faith in God, learn to love yourself, and find your strength again, we both will not only survive but live.”

“Okay, I can do that. I don’t want you to die. My life means too much to me and to God for me to just allow this to kill you without a fight. I will try my best. I will live!” She declared.

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An Erotic Moment

He came to me today. Flashing that money making smile which was always his way. It has been sometime since our eyes met. But our hearts let us know that they didn’t forget. The pangs of passion that ignite simply from the connection often unspoken but never mistaken.

He touches my face. I clothes my eyes to soak in this moment so that I memorize every sensation his energy generates deep within me. I feel his hand touch the small of my back then in one swoop I am in his embrace.

“You take my breath away.” He says as he holds me so close to him. I feel all of his love in this one quick endless moment.

“Show me why handsome.” I reply, purposely taunting him.

He digs his mouth into my neck. I feel his tongue dig deep into the crevices if my collarbone. I shiver and a fire erupts deep inside me. His hands travel to my ass. He grabs my right cheek, then smacks it real swiftly. I whimper a little as I feel the juices begin to flow.

He sits me down on the stool, then spreads my legs. I feel him slide my panties to the side and suddenly his fingers are inside my pussy. I cum instantly. He holds me so close as my body shivers from the orgasm.

“You are so beautiful when you cum.” He says.

“Only you make me cum this way.” I reply.

He digs deeper inside me waving his fingers back and forth inside my pussy. He watches me intently as I cum. The esctasy on my face is all the pleasure he ever needs. But then he feels me touching him.

My hands search for his hard dick. I stroke him right in his pants. Oh how I love to watch my man become aroused. It is like watching flowers bloom. It’s the beginning of life. I cup his life force in my hand and gently massage him from the tip of his head to the bottom of his shaft. I love the feel of his hard dick in my hands.

I strok while he pushes until the heat is so intense we can’t stand it anymore. He motions for me to step down, bends me over the stool, and enters me from behind. I collapse on the seat of the stool as the wave of orgasm tear through me making my legs weak.

“Hold still beautiful. You’re going to take this!” He says as he thrust his hard dick inside me.

Slowly he fills me with all the love he has been with holding. He motions for me to move towards the couch. He lays me down. His eyes say so much as he goes inside again. He kisses me softly on the lips. Slowly he enters me while his tongue caresses my lips. When he finally reaches his destination, I arch my back and let out the loudest moan. He got me.

“Yes, I am yours!” I say repeatedly.

He continues to make love to me, devouring every part of me sexually until I surrender. He lifts my legs and pulls me close. He strokes and watches my response. I arch my back to receive more of him and he gives more. We continue simultaneously until he erupts inside me.

“Oh my God” I scream as the life force enters me.

“I love you my goddess.” He says.

All from a smile.

Angels Are Hard to Love

I sat across from him at the table. He is so handsome, just like when I first met him almost 30 years ago. His light touch of gray lends to his distinguished look. So sexy. I shook my head because he is so sexy but also such an angelic spirit at times.

“Okay. Let’s focus.” I say to myself.

“What did you want to know?” He asks. He was always direct. Respected that about him. Except when it came to his heart. That was always indirect.

“I wanted to know how you are and how that relates to me?” I answered.

From this point on he begins to dig deep inside himself and tell me how he really is. He doesn’t look directly at me instead he directs his gaze to his right as he speaks. But I am looking directly at him. I know he is speaking truth because the last time he confessed his truth to me he did the same thing. He averted my eyes and spoke from his soul. That one was a huge one too. So, I anxiously await his words.

“My current relationship is over and we are separating in the next three months. She says I am selfish. I stopped cheating for her. She agreed to allow me to have her any way and anytime I wanted sexually so there was no need for other women. I stayed with her only. You know that is not my norm?” He says.

“Yes, I know that.” I reply.

“She is not submissive, she doesn’t take care of me, doesn’t want to cuddle, and won’t cook. I don’t understand why she just won’t love me. I don’t hang out in the street. I go to work and I come home to her. But she complains that I crowd her.” He says. I hear the pain in his voice as he speaks.

My mind immediately goes to our past relationship and how he never would love me that way. I knew it was in him to love that way but he always kept me at such a distance. I remember a time when I would do anything for him. All I wanted to do was love him so I gave myself to him completely especially sexually. I go to that place in my mind…

I stood in front of him to satisfy his visual pleasure. My black thigh high fishnets gripped the curves of my plump legs. The top rustled a little from the fullness of my thighs, as the garter clip tightened the grip. He loved the red garter and bra set. Of course, no panties was always the rule. My pussy glistened from the oil and moisture.

“What do you want baby?” I asked seductively.

“You on my lap.” He said.

I walked over towards him but stopped a few steps in front of him. I put my right foot on the table. Slowly I rubbed my fingers across my rock-hard clit. I moaned when they made contact. I maintained eye contact with him as I slipped my fingers inside my wet hole collecting all the cum. Then I took my fingers out and put them in his mouth. He licked them clean. Then pulled me to him.

I straddled him. His dick stood erect like the monument. I had to take my time. I slowly lowered my wet pussy on his head. Teased a little, only allowing the head to enter. He grabbed my hips. I motioned No. He loosened his grip. I continued to make love to his head. I felt the rush of cum from inside me. I submerged myself on him completely just as the orgasm hit me.

“Ooohhhh!!!!” I screamed.

The orgasm was intense and I began a steady stroke allowing him to feel all of my heat. I stroked him hard and fast gasping each time he hit the top of my pelvis. I took all of him inside me.

“You’re so fucking beautiful!” He said as he pulled my face to his.

He kissed me while I continued to ride him. We got lost in a momentum of kisses, humps, bumps and pulls. We rode together this way until he released the waterfall inside me. I collapsed on him, spent from the emotional, spiritual and physical energies we exchanged.

It was always that easy to get lost in each other. He continues to tell me about his previous marriage and how she went fatal attraction on him because she found out he was cheating. It sounded ugly. Thing is, I remember when he was dating her. He pushed me away just to be with her. Kept telling me I was only his friend, although he would melt just from me touching his hand. Who was he trying to convince me or himself?

I continue to listen. Now he is talking about how he doesn’t want to do this again. He wants to live alone for a while. He needs to reconnect with God but doesn’t really know what that looks like. I see the confusion on his face. As I listen I am reminded of the many years I was always so conveniently there after every break up. Always his ride or die. Until I crashed one day and I found myself alone. He wasn’t there for me.

I always knew he was in love with me but he was also fearful of our love and would not allow himself to bask in it. So, he kept me away from him a lot especially when he his heart was tender for me. But loving him on and off like this for almost 30-years had taken its toll on me. That’s why when he called, I suggested that we talk first. I don’t have time to pour into empty barrels anymore. No need to stir up things if there is nowhere to go.

“I wanted to know if we could do the same things we used to do? I didn’t know if you were in a relationship or even active anymore.” He asks.

Once again so direct. He wants the same thing. I remember him telling me that one of his fondest moments between us was the first time we were sexual. He was amazed at how wet my pussy was and that it soaked my panties. Thing is, I don’t even remember that night almost 30-years ago. But his directness is much appreciated today.

“No baby. I have grown so much since you saw me. I give myself to those who want all of me. I am a package deal now. When I wanted to love you, you rejected me every time and dumped me for the latest and greatest. Now you come and want me to do the same. I stopped loving you years ago. I love myself now.” I respond.

I am not angry, surprisingly not hurt either. I didn’t allow my heart to hope this time because well I know him. As I was talking I had an epiphany. I realized that I have always been his 30-year fling but he was always my love.

The Story of Us – She Adores Him

“Let me look at you.” She says, as she gazes upon his sculpted body.

Shaking her head, she slowly traces the path of his bulging vein on his right arm, through its peaks and valleys. The beauty of his body excites her. The chiseled muscles that he purposely flexes when he knows she is watching.

“You are such a hot sexy man.”

” Will you allow me to celebrate the beauty of your manliness?” She asks, moving her gaze to his eyes. She loves to admire him.

He strokes her left cheek and then kisses her slightly parting her lips with his tongue. She responds in kind with the tip of her tongue. They stay locked for a few seconds. She pulls back from his kiss and returns her gaze to his body.

She pours oil into her left hand, then some on his chest. She rubs the oil over his chest and allows some to drip on the ripples of his abs. She catches the oil with the other hand and works both hands over his body until they met in the middle. Wait, she isn’t ready for that yet.

She pours more oil on his biceps and watches them come alive as he moves his arms. She massages his shoulders paying close attention to tight spots. She wants to relieve all the stress from his day before they make love.

She sits behind him and kisses the back of his neck. As she kisses him, she remembers their latest fight. She pauses for a moment as her mind goes back to the event, until his hand lightly touches hers and she starts massaging him again. Then, he guides her hands between  his legs. She looks down and decides its best to follow suit.

She pours more oil into her hand and cups his dick like it was in a cup of oil. Slowly she drips the oil along his hardness. She squeezes and strokes simultaneously from the shaft to the head. The vein bulges along his shaft like a bolt of thunder, exciting all the juices within her body.

“If you keep doing that I am going to dig my tongue in your pussy from the back.” He taunts.

She doesn’t flinch. She continues to massage his hard bulging piece of love like it was the first time. She strokes and squeezes the head and then plays with it using her fingers.

In a matter of minutes he is up and re-positions her, guiding her to her knees. Moments later, she is startled, as she feels the wetness of his tongue between her pussy lips. She feels his tongue go in and out of her hot wet pussy. She shivers as she feels the orgasm hit her hips then radiate to the rest of her body.

Next, she feels him breathe life into her through what she has termed as “the SWOOSH”, the wave that penetrates her soul as he enters her. She melts, her body instantly succumbs to him, as she manages to mutter,

“Yes, that’s what I want.”

“That’s what you deserve. To be loved this way always.” He replies, gripping her thighs as he thrusts more inside her.

She wants to feel his life pulsate within her body as he gives his love to her. He goes deeper, then he says,

“I want to kiss your lips beautiful.”

So he turns her on her back. Her clit is standing at attention and he sucks on it until she arches her bottom in the air, in surrender.  His tongue is now on hers. She smells her scent on him as he kisses her and they lock for a minute. Then he caresses her body as he begins his dissent into her.

Once he is inside her, she releases waves of orgasms. He continues the momentum by simultaneously riding her waves and kissing her. Their eyes lock for a second. He looks inside her then deliberately touches her in a way that she knows how he feels.

“Ooh baby!!”  She moans loudly, as he rhythmically strokes her, watches her, and kisses her.

They love each other this way until everything is said, every breath of life is shared, and Us is renewed and reconnected. She is sweating, its dripping down between her breasts, but she doesn’t care. All they care about right now is restoring what broke during their last disagreement. They promised to never allow the anger to hang around too long, to always allow their love to rule because it sustains them.

Which is exactly what happens when the waterfall starts to erupt inside her. She shivers and her pussy pulsates as they are bound by love once more. Relieved they both fall into the final embrace before sleep comes on.

Meeting in the Ladies Room

The room was packed. Everyone was there, the authors, the editors, and the publishers all in one room. She saw him enter the room. His presence commanded her attention and she wanted to go running to him. But he looked at her and nodded his head, fully reading her mind.

He knows her so well, knows that she will shut the world out for him. But tonight she had company, her friend was accompanying her and she knew that Daddy said in public events like this he was her editor. That is the relationship that they show the world. So she was obedient and waited anxiously for him to be close to her.

Eventually he came to the table. She averted her eyes so that James would not see the love in them. Only when she knew she could look at him did she look up.

He spoke, “Good evening Fedora how are you beautiful?”

She looked directly at him and responded, “Lovely Allen, thank you.”

Then added, “This is my friend James. James meet Allen my editor.”

They nodded at each other and shook hands. Clearly she was the center of attention. But she did not fidget nor was she nervous. She commanded both of their attention.

“Thank you for coming out to support us tonight.” Allen said.

“It is my pleasure da.. to support my fellow authors, they were there for me when my book was released.” She responded.

She thought to herself, “Damn I almost called him daddy. Got to get it together.”

She took a breath and continued turning towards James.

“You know my book took off and Allen was instrumental in my success.” she said.

“Yes, I can see that.” James replied.

“You know James shares our craft too.” She said to Allen.

“Really, that is great.” He replied.

“I must greet my other guests. It was nice to meet you and Fedora we will talk soon.”

He kissed her on her hand and was gone so quickly. Her heart was racing, and she felt the butterflies floating around in her stomach. Get it together Fedora, she said to herself.

“You seem close.” James said.

“Yes, we worked very closely when we were publishing the book.” She replied.

They sat there for a few minutes in silence watching the busyness of the room. James saw someone he knew and excused himself to talk to them.

Fedora went to the ladies room. James watched her from across the room. He was talking to the President of the publishing company but his eyes were fixed on her.

As soon as she reached the ladies room door, she felt him. He came behind her and guided her into the ladies room. She didn’t know if there was anyone in there but he blocked them in by holding her against the door.

“Hi Daddy.” She said looking directly into his eyes.

When she gazed into his eyes she could never hide what was inside. He had a way of pulling everything to the surface.

“Hello my goddess, you look delicious tonight.”

Then he put his hand between her legs, he played there until she released the honey that slowly dripped on his fingers. She just stood there waiting, listening, and wanting him to take her right there.

“You got him locked up.” He said.

He dug his fingers in deeper. She let out a sigh and her body responded in ripples.

“I know, Daddy taught me well.” She responded while lifting her leg to give him more access to her juicy lips.

“Make sure you give it to him good tonight.” He told her, while he stuck his thumb in her asshole. She whimpered and closed her eyes. They were silent for the longest moment. He took in the beauty of ecstasy on her face, as her body trembled from his touch. He took his fingers out and put them in her mouth. She licked all of the honey until there was none left.

“When you are with him tonight, straddle him, and think about Daddy.” He commanded.

“Give him the ride of his life, like you were riding Daddy baby.” He continued.

“Yes, Daddy anything to please you.” She replied.

He released her from the door and kissed her. As she turned to walk away he smacked her ass hard. She closed her eyes briefly and felt the honey ooze out of her wet pussy. Then she continued into the ladies room. He was gone as quickly as he came.

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This song really blessed me today. Sometimes we struggle to find peace in our daily life because we are looking in the wrong place. I want to dedicate this song to my love, my quality man whom I will love forever. Peace has been staring you in the face for the past three years, all you have to do is reach out and grab it.

Love you guys!!!

Fedora Loves You!

Peace

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Lover’s I realize that I am in a healing space right now. Someone has hurt me deeply to the core of my being and I must forgive them. It has been hard because the people who hurt me are people I love.

I must forgive so that I can move on but I do not forget. Nor do I allow those people back into my life so easily. They have to earn a place in my life. They have to earn my trust, loyalty, love again. It will not be freely given.

Should they choose not to return, that is just fine. I have made peace with all of them. I have found my safe place and have managed just fine without them. Yes I miss them sometimes but being alone is worth the peace I have gained.

To those who are still selfishly hurting others. Take a minute and consider your own pain. Imagine someone digging a weapon in your open wound and how unbearable it would be emotionally. That’s what you are doing to the people you are using, lying to, cheating, betraying, all for your own selfish gain. Realize that your pain will stop when you stop causing pain to others.

Fedora Loves You. Peace!