To be jealous is defined as being envious with resentment. I don’t like this emotion as it screams loudly that you are not confident in your place in the relationship. Those who experience jealousy may be expressing their dislike that their partner is giving away, to others, what they so desperately want or need. Whether it be attention, sex, intimacy, communication, or time. When the person encounters the recipient of his attention this dragon rears its ugly head.
Jealousy can spark the ugly side of some people, having them act in a demeanor that is unbecoming of love. Yet still they profess to love you at their best. Then on the other hand it can also be complimentary because your attention means so much. Or does it? I was not a jealous woman because I didn’t find any need for the emotion. Not that I believed I was the bomb (well maybe) but I honestly never really cared that much. I know that is cold but it probably was more of a numbness than coldness.
I always loved men’s attention and received quite a bit. But no specific man held my attention so I basked in a variety at times. But that does not mean that I have never felt jealousy. Indeed, I have and the first time I recognized it, I laughed. Of course, it meant that I was finally growing in my relationships with men. There was someone I cared for whom I felt was not giving me what I needed. As I watched him give it to another woman, it struck deeply within my heart. But a question arose, was it really mine to receive in the first place?
For if I were his and he meant purposely for me, then he would not be giving away anything that was mine. Likewise, I would not either. Realizing this made me reevaluate the relationship. Who was this man to me and why was I wasting time with someone who was not a part of my purpose. As it turns out I was chasing something that didn’t belong to me. I was not at peace and was uncomfortable in my own skin.
Healthy reminders about where you stand in a relationship will help to ward off these sneaky, sometimes ugly feelings of jealousy. A quick note just to say hello or love you. A special song, poem or word that uplifts their day. A single rose with no card but just because. An impromptu lunch at your job. An innocent kiss that’s not sexual but says so much. A light touch on the hand. Feeling the energy of love’s warmth can ward off those occasional feelings of jealousy. Love should be fed continuously and infinitely. Don’t allow jealousy to steal your heart.