How to Soften His Heart

I have decided to do a series on how to soften a man’s heart. I have found that many women don’t realize how they contribute to the demise of their relations with men. I am speaking from a point of personal growth having been one of those quarrelsome, nagging women in my past. I ran away men that I loved because I was afraid of them. But thanks to God and healing I am now able to lovingly embrace a strong dominant man.

I will unfold this in a series of posts that will ultimately become one article. I invite your opinions, comments and input on this topic. It is my goal to see the world become more of a loving environment where everyone is free to be who they are and progress in their natural roles without criticism. This world has changed so much and lines are often blurred so far that standards appear null and void. It is not my intention to offend anyone but to open a dialogue of healing for both men and women.

How to Soften His Heart 


housewifeDo you remember the women of the 1950s and 1960s whose sole responsibility was to take care of her husband, her home and her family? Never would she have disrespected her husband by yelling at him or disrespecting him in public. But the 21st century woman is not only expected to be that wife who does those things but also holds down a career. Many are ready to go toe-to-toe with men in the courtroom and the boardroom. As a result, they are rarely soft-spoken and silent in the work world especially when they hold high power positions. This is not a bad thing, the advances for women are wonderful but equally detrimental for some families where the power lines are not clearly drawn and the woman does not willingly submit.

There are many hardworking men looking for traditional wives only to find that very few still exist. Instead they find women who want them to put money in their purses, take them shopping, show them a good time, and take them to expensive places. Or they meet a dominate woman who wants to treat them like a little boy expecting them to do and say only what they want, when they want. Therefore, some men end up with harden hearts and they do not willingly open up their hearts to the women they meet. Instead they look for those to fill their beds rather than their hearts. But there are some still some traditional women looking to love and care for a real man. But how does she soften his heart so that he will open up to her?

Will the Real Men Please Stand


A real man wants and needs a real woman just the same as a real woman wants and needs a real man. But what is a real man and a real woman? I will share my definition but of course it is open to interpretation. I use a biblical basis for what makes a man. First, he is a provider. The Bible states that a man who doesn’t work doesn’t eat and if he can’t’ take care of himself, then how can he take care of a woman and a family?

Second, he knows how to love a woman. The Bible states that husbands should love their wives like Christ loves the church. Christ’s love for the church was sacrificial and unconditional. He died to protect his beloved. A real man will make the necessary sacrifices so that his wife and his family are cared for and protected. He only wants the best for them.

Third, he recognizes her as a gift and treats her as such. The Bible says that the man who finds a wife finds a good thing and seeks the rare jewel. He knows that she is not just any woman, she is precious and needs his love and protection. He always wants her to look her best and will take every opportunity to show her off to the world because she is a reflection of him.

I am Woman


A real woman is depicted in the Proverbs 31. She closely resembles the woman of the 21st century in that she not only cares for her husband, her home and her family but she also makes her own money. The key piece in her demeanor though is that everything she does reflects well on her husband and builds more honor and respect for him in the community. She realizes that she is an extension of him and seeks to always make him look his best. Everything she does counts towards the common goals established by her husband.

Second, she is beautiful and keeps herself up. Like the woman in Song of Solomon she maintains herself so that her husband will desire her beauty. She is visually appealing to her man. He recognizes and appreciates it. The Proverbs 31 woman seeks the best silks to dress herself as to always be visually appealing.

Third, she is submissive. She lovingly and willingly submits to the authority of her man. She knows that being submissive is not being weak but rather exercising the strength of her feminine love. The man was built to be the muscle of the family, not the woman and he is the protector, not the woman. She protects her young but the man protects the entire family. She realizes this and doesn’t seek to usurp his authority.

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