Intimacy, not sexual intimacy. I mean real intimacy. Have you ever had a moment where you just exist with each other? It is not about being aroused just enjoying each other. Talking, sharing, and giving to each other. True intimacy exists on such a deeper level. I realize that I am so fortunate to have experienced some of the relationships that I have. Once people get to know me, they open up to me and share themselves with me. I am so privileged to have that. So honored and I don’t take it lightly.
I used to be on a social site and there are so many people there who are lonely, looking for someone to fill their empty places. But I wonder how many of them really find what they are looking for there. Do they keep coming to the fence expecting to be fed only to find no food? How many times will they keep coming before they realize that there is nothing there for them? But my main question relates to why there are so many lonely people in this world. Why are so many love starved?
I guess I was looking for something when I joined the site. But I wasn’t sure exactly what. I thought I wanted to find a friend, a lover, a relationship? Not really sure. But I found so many things there, many different types of relationships. But did I find what I was really looking for? That’s the big question.
At the end of the day, it is not about sex, it is not about friendship. It is about intimacy. Was I really looking for intimacy? I have had a variety of relationships with men in my adult life. Some were only about sex, one about love, one about a commitment, one about growth, and some friends. My most cherished relationships are those that involved true intimacy. However the sad part is that they didn’t count for the majority of the relationships listed. I have only actually had about three intimate relationships, not all of them involved sex. But each one enriched my life so much. Made me love deeper and allowed me to learn more about myself.
I have found that sometimes when I am seeking to connect, I often think it is about sex, but realize that it never is. It’s about intimacy. I am finally wired for intimacy. That means I can finally have that love affair, the one that lasts a lifetime and takes your breath away. Yes that one! It can’t exist without true intimacy.