Love & Marriage
You know that I am all about love my friends. Love is and will always be the foundation of my life. I came across a story titled “Where love is there God is also” by Leo Tolstoy and it touched my heart so and lead to me writing my thoughts about love and marriage. Which by the way are synonymous one does not work without the other. A loveless marriage is doomed.
I married a man who was out of God’s will because of my personal struggles. I did not love him but he loved me and I believed that was enough. I did make the decision to honor my vows regardless of how I felt. I gave as close to 100% as I could. Although I stayed faithful, I still hurt him because I treated him the way I felt about him in my heart. I did not purposely hurt him but my actions were reflected through my heart. I did not hate him but I was not in love with him and i did not respect him. Which was reflected by my lack of submission and honor.
He knew that I did not love him and was often mean to me. I never knew the source of his anger until many years later. But his fear was confirmed when an old friend of mine resurfaced in my life. The first time he saw me in this man’s presence my ex-husband knew who had my heart. I instinctively changed with no thought because my actions were reflected through my heart.
I prayed for many years for God to fix that marriage and to give me love for him. But he did not. God did not get any glory out of that union because he did not join us and he was not present because there was no love there. In the end I did get out of the marriage because i could no longer hurt him and God. But God would not allow me to leave before I knew what I had done so that I would not repeat this again.
God takes marriage seriously it really is a spiritual bonding between two people, which under the covenant of love becomes one of the strongest bonds that no man can break. This I know to be true. But the world has reduced the union of marriage to a legal entity that allows people to claim ownership and rights to the other person. There really is no real commitment and no value in the institution any more based on our country’s definition.
When presented with marriage again I said no because the man who asked me did not love me the way I knew I deserved to be loved. It was evidenced by his actions not his words. I will not marry again unless love is the true foundation for both of us not just one. There has to be a true heart connection because “where love is there God is” and that is more important to me. You can build everything else in a relationship, but you can’t build love and respect. It’s either there from the start or not.
Fedora loves you. Peace.